The fictionalized Marilyn Monroe biopic, Blonde, has been a topic of discussion for some time. The film, based on the novel Blonde by Joyce Carol Oates, has got tons of press for being reportedly too nasty and crazy for the people at Netflix. The film is rated NC-17, which means that there might be a visible nut-shot in it because that’s what level that is, and even the book it’s based on has been accused of gratuitously capitalizing on a woman’s tragic life by creating a fictional biography of her that includes rape. But the reviews are in, and after its screening at the Venice Film Festival, Ana de Armas is being praised for her performance as a fictional Marilyn, one person calling it “uncanny.” Which I’m assuming actually means “uncanny, except for the accent.“ But we have Marilyn herself to thank for this tour-de-force because according to Ana, her spirit was with her during filming. Wow, these ghosts don’t have anything else to do except hang out with actresses?

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Colin Mitchell, the heroic UPS driver who saved two dogs who were trapped in a pool!

Not all heroes wear capes, some wear brown UPS shorts. Case in point: UPS delivery dude Colin Mitchell was delivering packages to a house when he ended up also delivering some serious hero shit. If it wasn’t for Colin, two dogs may have drowned and gone to Jesus. As soon as UPS gets around to putting A/C in their delivery vans, they need to deliver a giant bonus check to Hero Colin for his next-level customer service.

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17 years ago, a cover of UsWeekly confirmed that Brangelina was a thing. Up until that point, it was only rumored that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were making sweet homewrecking love. The pictures of Brangelina and Maddox were taken on a beach in Kenya by a paparazzo who just so happened to be there. Well, Rolling Stone co-founder Jann Wenner, who owned Us Weekly at the time, says that Angie is the one who tipped the pap off with all the info needed to take the pics. I’m sorry, I really should’ve warned you in advance, because I’m sure that this SHOCKING and FRESH news caused you to collapse onto the floor and now you’re headed to the ER. Don’t send me your medical bills! – AceShowbiz

Speaking of shocks felt around the world, Edward Enniful, the editor-in-chief of British Vogue, claims that his magazine’s October issue is a big one that will “shock the world.” What could it be? Rihanna actually announcing a new album? Lea Michele reading a book, for real? The Kartrashians announcing that they’re giving all their money to charity and will disappear off the face of the earth? Wait, Edward said “shock the world” not “cause the world to explode with happiness” – Celebitchy

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Not long after it was reported that Jason Sudeikis and Olivia Wilde were over after 9 years together, she went public with Harry Styles and talk began about she how passed her poon to Harry while still with Jason and that was one of the big reasons why they split. Jason was reportedly sad over Olivia getting with Harry, and the timeline of how things went down is fuzzier than my eyesight after I lose a contact while six sheets to the wind. Olivia already shit on the “false narrative” that she, Jason, and Harry are the reboot of the Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, and Angelina Jolie mess, and in a new interview with Vanity Fair, she says that she and Jason were done a long time before she even met Harry. Hmmm, if you listen closely, you can probably hear Jason Sudeikis putting the receipts together…

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People is reporting that Nicolas Cage and his wife Riko Shibata have welcomed their first child together, daughter August Francesca Coppola Cage. Baby August arrived yesterday, making her exactly one week off from actually being born in August. And one day off from being a potential vessel for the reincarnated soul of THE QUEEN. So close! Continue reading