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Madonna’s Madonna Biopic Has Been Shelved

January 24, 2023 / Posted by:

I’m sure Diablo Cody is somewhere laughing her ass off (see also: replacement sucker Erin Cressida Wilson) at the news that Universal Pictures has scrapped the planned Madonna-directed Madonna biopic she attempted to help Madonna write starring Madonna-approved Madonna Julia Garner. Good thing then that after spending months alone in a room with Madonna trying to convince her that the studio won’t accept vibes in lieu of a script, Diablo knows that asses will come and go. If Diablo can’t find her original ass, she can just go out and get a new one. So it wasn’t a complete waste of her time.

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Alec Baldwin Got Mad Over The Criticism Of An Instagram Caption He Wrote About His Wife And 6-Year-Old Son

January 24, 2023 / Posted by:

Apparently, Alec Baldwin’s home is run with the same chaotic energy that reportedly led to the dangerous working conditions on the set of Rust which enabled Alec to hold a loaded gun that led to the death of someone. Under normal circumstances, a high-profile individual facing a federal manslaughter rap will be urged by council and common decency to shut the hell up and let their legal team do the talking. However, the denizens of Casa De Baldwinitos are apparently immune to both. So you’ve got Hilaria Baldwin running around the streets of New York City looking for anyone with a camera at which to scream, dios mio, leave mi familia alone! while wearing a sweatshirt from her new collaboration with Kanye West called Last Word(s).

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Prince Andrew Has Reportedly Raised Enough Funds To Prove He’s Never Met Virginia Giuffre In A Court Of Law

January 23, 2023 / Posted by:

One might assume that Prince Andrew doesn’t have much left to lose after getting fired from the one job he was born to do, but according to The Sun, Andy’s coffers aren’t completely bare (again) even though his ex wife Original Fergie‘s lender of choice, The Bank of Epstein, went belly up in 2019 and Andrew’s most reliable source of income, his mummy THE QUEEN, left him high and dry to go play with her corgis in the sky. Thankfully for Andrew, mummy didn’t leave him penniless and he’s presumed to have inherited “several million” from her. Andrew and Fergie also reportedly made £10 million from the sale of their Swiss Chalet. Add in all the money he’s saved on food and rent over the course of his life thanks to the astonishing generosity of the British taxpayer, even if you subtract the reported £3-£6 million he paid to settle Virginia Giuffre’s lawsuit against him plus the cost of postage required to keep in touch with his “dear friend Ghislaine Maxwell, who is serving 20 years in a Florida prison for sex trafficking, why he’s almost got enough left over to slink away from public life never to be seen or heard from again. It worked for, Prince Harry, Great Britain’s 2nd most superfluous Spare, now didn’t it?

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Here’s The Final Cut Of “Gotta Be You” From “80 For Brady” Feat. Dolly Parton, Cyndi Lauper, Gloria Estefan And Their Kid Sister Belinda Carlisle

January 20, 2023 / Posted by:

Dolly Parton famously wrote I Will Always Love You and Jolene on the same night, so it should be no surprise that she was able to squirt out a dribbly little ditty as a favor to a couple of old friends in less time than it takes her to remove her false eyelashes at the end of the day. When Dolly’s homegirls Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin found themselves in a bind, having agreed to go against God’s Plan by signing up for starring roles in Tom Brady’s mid-post-post-career vanity project, 80 for Brady, alongside Sally Field and Rita Moreno, and needed help, Dolly was right there to lend a hand. And Dolly’s no Rose from Titanic! Her door is as wide as it is strong, and it’s always open to a friend in need. Dolly secured her rings and baubles and such before reaching her hand down into the frigid, inky-black depths of Tom’s ego and pulled her girls to safety. She then got her little orange emergency whistle out and started looking for other innocent souls at risk of drowning in Tom’s insatiable abyss. As dawn arose on that fateful night, Dolly’s door was teeming with refugees from the floating wreckage of Tom’s post-divorce career.

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Open Post: Hosted By Drake’s Bathroom Secrets

January 20, 2023 / Posted by:

In case you’ve somehow overlooked the flashy diamonds, exotic cars, opulent estates, private jets, on-demand stylists, hairdressers, barbers, tattoo artists and high-powered attorneys, state-of-the-art shitters, army of yes men, coast guard of big booty hoes, oceans of champagne and legally binding Certificate of Authenticity signed by the entirely of the NBA under duress, Drake is very rich. So rich, in fact, that he’s privy to luxuries the rest of us never even knew existed, let alone included on the vision boards of our youth. But Drake’s had his eyes on the prizes since before he could walk (which didn’t happen until 2009, prior to that, he required the use of a wheelchair if he wanted any attention or money). Drake recently let his fans in on a little secret only known to the wealthiest and most elite individuals on the planet. Trump may have used his power and influence to grab pussies with impunity, but Drake’s made of softer stuff than that. Well, it actually depends on what he’s eaten and how many bottles he’s popped, but for Drake, taking a long slow shit in private while other people are waiting in line is proof positive that he is a man of extraordinary mbeans.

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