When I heard that Brennin Hunt, the dude who played Roger Davis in Fox’s live TV production of Jonathan Larson’s Rent, broke his ankle during a rehearsal the night before the live show was supposed to go down, I figured that his understudy pulled a Nomi Malone by pushing him down the stairs so that they could take the role and become an overnight STAH! But that didn’t happen, because Brennin Hunt didn’t have an understudy. None of the leads did. Fox decided to test fate by not getting the lead roles covered, and fate spit back by saying, “Wrong move, trick.”
So because a little thing called “a broken foot” kept Brennin from jumping on tables and running around, Fox decided to mostly scrap the live show. The bad news is that they aired a dress rehearsal from Saturday night. The good news for the actors who didn’t really give it their all during the dress rehearsal is that nobody really watched it. Rent: Not So Live flopped in the ratings with 3.42 million viewers. I mean, it got beat by America’s Funniest Home Videos.
Deadline reports that Fox announced that Vanessa Hudgens, former star of Disney and noted rock vandal, got herself a gig as a judge on the fourteenth season of So You Think You Can Dance. The judging panel will be comprised of the owner of the most British name, Nigel Lythgoe, and the cheer-bot built out of scrap parts collected from Marie Osmond and Paula Abdul, Mary Murphy. Vanessa was in a promo for SYTYCD a few weeks ago, and they called her a “guest judge,” but it turns out she’s a permanent judge. The new season premieres on June 12th. Nigel released a statement about Vanessa joining the panel.
“I am so excited for Vanessa to join Mary and me on the judging panel for the 14th season of So You Think You Can Dance. There was instant chemistry in the audition rounds, and I know the SYTYCD fans will love her as much as we do. Vanessa is an accomplished artist and brings her own brand of enthusiasm and energy to our panel.”
Vanessa has never formally judged a TV show before (she appeared once on Project Runway), and she may not be that well known for her dance skills. But she did do some decent “hoofing” (as it’s known in the biz) in High School Musical and Grease: Live, and really, what greater qualifications do you need for reality TV? Vanessa tweeted that she’s “so excited!!!” for her new job. I’m sure she is. Vanessa’s last job was starring on NBCs Powerless, which was cancelled three episodes before the season finale. Thankfully there’s a lot more job security in reality competition shows. Especially dancing ones. You just can’t recreate the drama of dance in your bedroom in a video uploaded to YouTube.
At last night’s Billboard Music Awards, Drake was the Prom King, Prom Queen, Most Devastating Smile, Maple-Dipped Hottie, and the drunk chick who grabs a bunch of awards while everyone is on the dance floor screaming to Party Rock Anthem. He won everything.
Before we fully get into the river of depressing smegma that this news week will probably bring, let’s raise a wig and celebrate some happy news: RuPaul finally got his hands around his first Emmy after being in the TV game for eons. HalleluRu!
If award shows always got it right, Ru would’ve gotten his first Emmy in the 90s for Best And Most Glamorous Talk Show host for Vh1’s The RuPaul Show. But since award shows mostly never get it right, that didn’t happen. It only took 20 years, but the title “Emmy-winning RuPaul” is finally a fact.
Nature is a wonder. Its beauty is endless, its majesty grand and its tranquility unrivalled. Just ask Justin Bieber. He’s ssssuuuuppppppeeeerrrrr into nature right now. But humans are destructive and selfish. Nature has suffered because of us and our hands are covered in green blood. You’d think that someone who lives for flower headbands and fringe vests would be out protecting it, not destroying it. Like noted Coachella attendee, Vanessa Hudgens. Not cool, Vanessa! Very, not cool!
Page Six reports that Vanessa has had to pay a $1,000 fine for defacing a beautiful, innocent, never-been-to-Coachella red rock wall in Sedona, Arizona. Back around Valentine’s Day she threw up a photo on Instagram of the vandalized rock in question, on which she’d written “Vanessa” and “Austin”, as in Austin Butler, her piece. She deleted it off her Instagram once she realized that its a crime to deface natural features, but this is the internet, where nothing ever dies.
The $1,000 fine seems like she’s getting off too easy. She should be in jail! That poor rock. If you’re going to deface something at least do it nicely. Don’t try and be cute with that pre-school level drawing, Vanessa. You are a grown woman. Act like it. Though it’s common for idiot people to ruin nature’s beauty, the culprits are rarely found, but because Vanessa is a celeb type and put it on the internet she done got caught. It was apparently her followers that reported her ass to the authorities. If you break the law, you’re gonna have to pay one way or another. Now who do I talk to about Grease: Live and the appropriate punishment?
I’ve been putting up crosses, pictures of the baby Jesus and lighting prayer candles all week to protect myself from the impending apocalypse, which started yesterday. Hell fire rained down, demons joyously jumped through fields and string headband sales skyrocketed. My friends, pray with me… Coachella is upon us. Thankfully, I live on the East Coast, so I’m not in the danger zone, but these things spread. The hell mouth that has opened up in California to let loose boho dresses and string fringe vests could very well continue to grow and swallow the whole world. Let’s take a look at some of the devastation.