Category: Won’t Somebody Please Think Of The Planet

Drake Defends His Private Jet’s 14-Minute Flights

July 27, 2022 / Posted by:

Much like wasteful mess Kylie Jenner, soft-core gangste Drake is now getting dragged for being the kind of out-of-touch rich person who uses their private jet to take quick trips that could easily be taken by car. People are calling Drake out for his careless attempt at lessening his carbon footprint. Yet unlike Kylie, Drake has an explanation that probably sounds logical to him but will leave everyone else wondering if he’s still jet lagged and dazed from his last trip on Air Drake.

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Leonardo DiCaprio And Lukas Haas Were Also Partying On A Yacht In St. Barts Over New Year’s

January 5, 2022 / Posted by:

There must have been some kind of climate summit going on in the Caribbean over the holidays because Lauren Sanchez wasn’t the only person to counterbalance her St. Barts yacht excursion over New Year’s by posting about a pet environmental cause on Instagram immediately after. Page Six reports that eco/panty-warrior Captain Leonardo DiCaprio and his First Mate Lukas Haas, known affectionately within the Pussy Posse as “little buddy,” also spent New Year’s Eve partying on and in the waters surrounding St. Barts with Lauren, Jeff Bezos, and a plethora of other folks who must have had a lot of PTO on the books to spare. Thanks to these brave men and women who have devoted their lives to saving our precious environment, we now know that 26,000 rainforest and Eucalyptus trees have been planted onsite at Mongo Valley Wildlife Sanctuary in Australia and that Leo likes to nibble the celery in his poolside Bloody Mary like an adorable little koala bear!

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Jeff Bezos Has Pledged $1 Billion Toward Environmental Conservation

September 21, 2021 / Posted by:

Look! Up in the sky! Is that a giant dildo? Yes, it’s Jeff Bezos coming back to earth to save the planet! According to People, Jeff has decided that enough’s enough and is pledging to donate a small fraction of his fortune to tackle climate change in hopes we’ll just ignore the fact that he’s trying to resurrect the company towns of the previous century. Jeff recently announced that he has pledged $1 billion (he’s reportedly worth $194.5 billion) from The Bezos Earth Fund “in donations beginning now through the year 2030.” To put that into perspective, his ex-wife MacKenzie Scott has already parted with $8.5 billion of her personal $59 billion fortune in the past year alone. But then again, she can afford it. She’s not dating Lauren Sanchez, The Most Glamorous Woman in the World. The Universe in fact. Jeff went up there himself and checked!

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