Thank God Billionaire David Geffen Is Safe (On His Massive Yacht In The Grenadines)

March 29, 2020 / Posted by:

Put down your rosaries, folks! Because 77-year-old billionaire music mogul David Geffen is sailing through this whole coronavirus thing. And he wants you to know (people must have been asking, I guess?) that he has been and will continue to remain safe by staying inside. Now, when I say inside, I mean inside one of the countless luxury suites on his private yacht. Oh, billionaires! They’re just like us.

While many of us are trying to sort out how the hell to go about our days in quarantine or attempting to plan for an uncertain future, David felt it necessary to share his situation by gifting the world with the visual equivalent of the middle finger by letting everybody know that he’s SUFFERING from somewhere in the cool and calming waters off the coast of the Grenadines while aboard his massive luxury liner as he lounges on a bed of twinks.

In case you were wondering, ET Canada reports that the yacht in question was purchased by David for an estimated $590 million. The post was deleted, but a screen grab (below) has been circulating around Twitter ever since. For complete peace of mind, David attached a life-affirming caption to the completely tone-deaf image:

“Sunset last night … isolated in the Grenadines avoiding the virus. I’m hoping everybody is staying safe.”

He EVEN managed to incur the wrath of the Queen of Tone Deaf, Meghan “My Father” McCain:

David Geffen did end up deleting his entire Instagram account. If he were a real-life Mr. Burns he would have left the picture up and had a personal assistant read angry comments to him while he laughed from his tufted deck chair, sipping one Senior Mai-Tai after another (that’s a Mai Tai mixed with Metamucil). Actually, he probably did do that.

Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates pledged $25 million to find coronavirus treatments, but where are the rest of the billionaires with their checks? Like David Geffen, they’re all too busy fleeing to their superyachts. But don’t any of them want to be able to say that they single-handedly saved the world from a pandemic by funding the search for a cure? Hero status is literally up for grabs and these stuffy old pepaws would rather play shuffleboard than part with their cash. I guess all we can do is continue to pray (for pirates).


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