Category: Well Well Well
Jason Sudeikis Is Reportedly Dating Model/Actress Keeley Hazell
As Olivia Wilde got a very early jump on the 2022 Oscar campaign for her movie Don’t Worry Darling by slobbering out words of praise for one of the movie’s stars and her man, Harry Styles, I pictured her ex Jason Sudeikis in the fetal position on his bathroom floor, sobbing as he clutches the relay baton that he and Olivia used to pass to each other back and forth while fucking like Kenyan marathon runners. Because after we found out that Olivia and Jason had split and she is now with Harry, there was talk that Jason was all broken up in the heart and was holding out hope that he and Olivia would get back together one day. But if Jason is crying out heartbroken tears, he’s probably crying them out onto the luscious chichis of one of the IT English glamour models of the early-aughts: Keeley Hazell!
Taylor Swift Has Finished Recording The New Version Of Her Album “Fearless” And It’s Got A Total Of 26 Songs On It
In July 2020, Taylor Swift made the Swifties bust a million Pumpkin Spice Latte-flavored nuts when she summoned in an early fall by releasing her eighth studio album, folklore. In December 2020, Tay Tay let us know that during the pandemic, Tori Amos Lite songs just poured out of her and there was enough for another album called evermore. For now, Taylor isn’t going to complete the “ore” trilogy by releasing an Anthropologie-approved acoustic cover album of Britney Spears songs called gimmemore. Instead of that, Taylor has begun her promise to re-record all her old albums in Operation Fuck Scooter Braun. Taylor announced today that she has finished re-recording her 2008 album Fearless and it will come out “very soon.” Some fans think it’s coming out in April, which means she would have released three albums within one year. Cut to Taylor’s accountants adding more support beams to her checking accounts since another wave of Swiftie dollars is coming in.
Meghan Markle Shuts Down The “Offensive” Claim That She Changed Her Name On Her Son’s Birth Certificate
Here I was thinking that birth certificate drama was so 2008, but over the weekend there was drama over the birth certificate of Prince Hot Ginge and Meghan Markle’s 1-year-old son Master Archie. The Sun reported that Meghan’s full name was originally on her son’s birth certificate, but that she and Prince Harry later took a Magic Eraser to her full name and did it on the shush. The Sun then tried to stir up the lukewarm feud between Meghan and Duchess Kate by saying that the birth certificate move might have been a dig at Kate and Prince William. But Meghan popped up to both spit at The Sun and side-eye the Palace over the birth certificate change. And before you throw a COVID-protecting Hazmat mask at Detective La Toya Jackson and tell her to get herself to England to investigate this royal mystery, a Palace source called the change an oops.
Armie Hammer “Leaves” Another Project As His “Call Me By Your Name” Collaborators Work On A Cannibal Love Story
The inbox of Call Me By Your Name director, Luca Guadagnino, better brace itself because Armie Hammer is about to slam it with email after email, begging to put him in Luca’s new cannibal love story movie since he’s got pages upon pages of his cannibal fantasies to prove he’s perfect for it. “Remember how I wanted to switch the peach with a heart in Call Me By Your Name?” is possibly something Armie will write. Besides, Armie may need the work since he’s out of another job.
Harry Styles Is Reportedly One Of The Reasons Why Olivia Wilde And Jason Sudeikis Broke Up
It’s not even been a week since we all learned that Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde are currently doing each other full-time and People and Page Six have already slid this union into ESCÁNDALO territory. They subtly (People, of course) and not-so-subtly (Page Six, of course) are trying to say that Harry Styles may be the British dude reboot of Angelina Jolie and his sledgehammer dick wrecked Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis’ happy home.
Chris Evans Got Called Out For Playing Both Sides Of The Political Coin
Yesterday, when a mob of domestic terrorists took a break from playing Rainbow Six Siege in their troll holes to play their own real-life version of Rainbow Six Siege in the Capitol, many celebrities spoke up against it. Selena Gomez again called out the head bitches of social media platforms for allowing misinformation and hate to spread on their sites, which contributed to what happened yesterday. (Donald Trump was temporarily suspended from Twitter and Facebook has banned him for at least two weeks.) And Chris Evans called out the enablers who fueled the already-flaming dumpster fire that swept through the Capitol yesterday. And well, Twitter did what they do best: They pulled out some past shit that bit Captain America in the ass.