Taylor Swift Is Releasing Another New Album At Midnight
In July, Taylor Swift added a spiced caramel-infused energy shot of YES to every Swifties’ early-autumn Pumpkin Spiced Latte when she surprise-dropped her eighth studio album folklore. And this morning, TayTay added a spiced gumdrop-infused energy shot of YES to every Swifties’ Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha Frapp by announcing that at midnight, she’s putting out folklore’s sister album called evermore. Taylor is not ready to finally cut those “must keep forehead warm while I’m pondering deep thoughts in the woods” bangs. Her “live your life like you’re trapped in an Anthropologie catalog” era continues!
While some of us count “putting on clean chonies” as our biggest accomplishment in quarantine, Taylor wrote and recorded two whole albums, and she did that in between trying to fuck with The Man’s money by recording all of her old masters, which were sold twice. Since coming out in July, folklore spent eight weeks at #1 on the Billboard 200 chart, it broke the Guinness World Record for the most one-day Spotify streams of an album by a female artist, is the best-selling album of 2020, and brought in 5 Grammy nominations. So here comes evermore, to drop an evermore amount of money into the plaid wool coat pockets of Taylor Swift, Jack Antonoff, Aaron Dessner of The National, and Justin Vernon of Bon Iver.
The Kidz Bop Tori Amos announced the news of her ninth studio album this morning, saying that she just wasn’t ready to pack away her hipster and sullen Nelly Olsen aesthetic before leaving the folklore era. So she and her writing partners wrote more songs.
Taylor also shared the entire 17-song tracklist for evermore and it includes songs with The National, HAIM, and Bon Iver. Taylor turns 31 this Sunday, and she wants us to think that she’s been waiting for that moment since she was 13 because of lucky number stuff. Um, okay, but when I was 13, I thought 31-year-olds were geriatrics on their way to Shady Pines.
champagne problems?! Katy Perry released a song this year called Champagne Problems. Looks like Taylor has taken a broken champagne bottle to the olive branch that Katy Perry extended to her and cut it up. Their feud is alive (not really)!!!
A video for one of evermore’s songs, willow, is also coming out tonight and Taylor teased it by posting a still from it that is very Pinterest bride. Is the video for willow going to be a wedding video?!
So, it’s Swiftmas for the Swifties for the second time this year. But my thoughts are with the CAPS-LOCK key since Taylor continues to hurtfully diss it with her lower-case obsession! How could Taylor punish the CAPS-LOCK key for the shit that CAPS-LOCK lover Kanye West has done?! It’s innocent! That’s just one question I’m wondering and I’ve got another. So, first came folklore and then a few months later came evermore. I’m wondering if Taylor will complete the ‘ore trilogy by releasing another album in the spring called easterwhore. If she does that, she should expect to get a taste of her own lawsuit medicine because the Easter Bunny will sue her since that’s his official title.
Pic: Instagram