I’ve been passively enjoying the implosion of Twitter as much as the next person but Elon Musk is really making it difficult for us to differentiate between which desperate, impulsive, and unhinged decisions are real, and which are parody. And not for lack of a consistent policy on Blue Checks. Not when Elon himself has changed his profile picture to one where he’s wearing the little Last Samurai costume he rented for Heidi Klum’s Halloween party. He couldn’t even buy a date, it’s so sad. Just a grown man with too much money playing dress up and doing power poses on the red carpet like an 8-year-old boy in his new Christmas Underoos. So how are we supposed to know if the same guy who’s telling his employees they need to work 80-hour weeks, go into the office, and have to bring their own lunch from now on, also tweeted, “Twitter feels incredibly alive,”? You guys, I think he thinks we think he’s cool. I’m crying.
After playing with Twitter in the store, getting his little allowance money together to buy it, turning right around in the parking lot and trying to return it even though it was marked “As is. All sales final,” before begrudgingly taking it to his room and accidentally on purpose smashing it into a million pieces, Business Insider reports that Elon is now asking the employees he didn’t fire (Elon has already fired 50% of the workforce and ended remote work options for the rest), to work overtime. I’ve heard of child labor but always thought that Baby Bosses were merely the stuff of legends. But how else to explain why the world’s richest man, a captain of industry and the employer of thousands, doesn’t know that recess is federally mandated? BI reports:
Elon Musk issued a series of stern warnings during an address to Twitter staff on Thursday, including an expectation of 80-hour work weeks, per Bloomberg.
Twitter’s new owner earlier rolled back the company’s work-from-home policy in an email sent to staff at 2:39 a.m. Musk said: “Everyone is required to be in the office for a minimum of 40 hours per week” unless they were “physically unable” to travel to an office.
Musk’s “minimum” requirement could more than double given his latest statement. While working on the controversial new $8 verification feature, some Twitter managers told staff to work 84-hour weeks – or 12-hour shifts, seven days a week, CNBC reported.
Musk himself is now laying down these demanding expectations, and also added that there will be fewer office perks like free food. In the same address, he said that Twitter could go bankrupt if it doesn’t start making more money.
US federal law says that working more than 40 hours a week demands 50% more pay for overtime hours.
Per The Verge’s transcript of Musk’s Q&A and with employees, Musk told staff to work with “a maniacal sense of urgency.”
As previously reported, many of the Twitter executives that Elon didn’t fire right away have already jumped ship. Yet Elon seems set on an all-stick, no-carrot approach to management and has pinned the following “philosophy” to his Twitter profile.
That is my philosophy
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 14, 2022
Not sure what the “motivation” portion of the deal is, but it’s definitely not free food anymore. Yahoo! News reports that Elon’s mad nobody wants to come into the office to work so he’s decided to make it that much less appealing.
Elon Musk said Sunday that free staff lunches at Twitter’s San Francisco headquarters were costing more than $400 per meal because ‘almost no one’ was in the office.
He said that according to badge-in records, average occupancy in the office over the last 12 months was below 10%, peaking at 25%.
Musk was tweeting Sunday after The New York Times reported that Twitter employees would have to start paying for office lunches themselves.
He said criticism of the move was “especially bizarre given that almost no one came into the office,” adding: “There are more people preparing breakfast than eating breakfast. They don’t even bother serving dinner, because there is no one in the building.”
The only good news for Twitter employees is that Elon is very busy with his myriad other business ventures so he probably won’t be walking around Twitter HQ with one of those people-counter clicker things. Earlier today, he participated, remotely (lazy bum), in the G20 summit in Bali, Indonesia, where he told the crowd, “I have too much work on my plate, that is for sure.” Not sure the plate metaphor was the best choice, given he’s suddenly become a workplace plate abolitionist. But that’s Elon for you. BI reports:
In a virtual interview at the G20 summit in Indonesia on Monday, Musk talked about how his workload has changed since his $44 billion acquisition of Twitter.
“My workload has recently increased quite a lot,” Musk said.
Musk, who’s also the CEO of Tesla, talked about running Tesla’s global operations, noting that he runs the electric vehicle manager “with great difficulty.”
“I’m working the absolute most that I can work — morning to night, seven days a week,” Musk said in the interview, dressed in a traditional Indonesian batik shirt. “The amount that I torture myself is next level, frankly,” he added.
Musk said his workaholic ways were not “something I would recommend.”
Unless you work at Twitter and want to keep your job, that is. Here’s Elon burning the candle at both ends with such fervor, he’s practically on fire.
Elon takes part in the G20 meeting
Sitting in the dark (because of a power outage 🙄), wearing a traditional Indonesian batik shirt and surrounded by candles, Elon Musk offered a vision for the future that includes aliens, deep tunnels and rocket tourism. pic.twitter.com/BeNQOpmnhW
— Different🇷🇺 (@Sholinge_) November 14, 2022
Given that Elon is currently just a floating head in outer space, not unlike the Great and Powerful Dr. Oz, there might be some incentive for Twitter employees to return to the office now; if only to take an enormous dump in one of the many sinks along the route to HR as they file in to collect their final paychecks.
Pic: ROGER WONG/INSTARimages.com/Cover Images