Category: Tom Hanks
Here’s Tom Hanks As Geppetto In The Teaser Trailer For Disney’s Live-Action “Pinocchio”
I’ve already seen 1971’s The Erotic Adventures of Pinocchio which is the only live-action Pinocchio I ever need to see, but since Disney didn’t get paid for that one they’re doing it themselves. In the first teaser trailer for Disney’s Pinocchio, Tom Hanks ditches the Flemish accent from Elvis in favor of a House of Geppetto accent as a creepy old man who gets on his hands and knees and wishes on a star for his wooden puppet to be transformed into a real boy knowing damn well every legitimate adoption agency in the world probably has his picture posted on the wall with the caption “DO NOT ADOPT TO THIS MAN. If you see him, please contact the F.B.I.”
Baz Luhrmann’s “Elvis” Received A 12-Minute Standing Ovation At Cannes
I’ve never been to the Cannes Film Festival, but I imagine there’s a lot of preparation and planning involved if you want to attend, even if it’s just as an audience member. Because The Cannes Clap is no joke and I’m not talking about the one that will have you dipping out to the nearest pharmacie for some antibiotiques. I’m talking about the standing ovations, like the 12-minute palm-punisher Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis received after its screening on Tuesday. As everybody knows, you don’t go to a Cannes screening without having done everything in your power to build up the thickest, gnarliest callouses required to endure the gauntlet of The Cannes Clap. And it’s no walk in the park for those on the receiving end either.
Austin Butler Has Kicked Off His “Elvis” Oscar Campaign But Declined To Talk About His Ex Vanessa Hudgens
Lady Gaga is probably kicking herself in the pants right now for not auditioning for Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis. Had she nabbed the role of Elvis Presley, she’d be the one telling British GQ how her “body just started shutting down” as soon as they wrapped because of the stress. Instead, Austin Butler gets to use that line in his march toward Oscar buzz, and so far, the best that Gaga can hope for is a Best Original Song nomination for Hold My Hand (Take My Whole Life Too) for the Top Gun 2: Gaga’s Turn soundtrack.
Here’s The First Trailer For Baz Luhrmann’s “Elvis” Starring Austin Butler
It’s been almost three years since relative newcomer Austin Butler was announced to star in Elvis, Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis Presley biopic. At the time he won the role it was down to him, Ansel Elgort, and Miles Teller. Ansel went on to jinx West Side Story at the box office while ducking accusations of sexual misconduct, and Miles went on to star in Top Gun 2: Never Gonna Happen and get punched by a wedding planner while partying with Aaron Rodgers in Hawaii. So it looks like they made the right choice. But after seeing the trailer, I’m not so sure they made the right choice in casting Tom Hanks as Elvis’ manager Colonel Tom Parker, a role that clearly should have gone to Jared Leto based on the sheer amount of prosthetics they plastered on him to play a man nobody even knows or cares what he looked like anymore.
Chet Hanks Talked About Growing Up As Tom Hanks’ Son
Chet Hanks decided that Instagram isn’t the place to share his “super deep talks” (e.g. anti-vaxxer rants and White Boy Summer™ declarations), so he started a YouTube channel. He uploaded his first video, “The Truth About Growing Up As A Hanks,” yesterday. In it he talks about the toxic side of fame and being raised by Tom Hanks. The real takeaway is that 31-year-old Chet doesn’t use Jamaican patois. Not once. Is this… White Boy Growth™?
“Saturday Night Live” Went On Without An Audience And Most Of The Cast
Last night was supposed to be Saturday Night Live’s holiday episode and it was the fifth time that Paul Rudd hosted, so he was inducted into The Five-Timers Club. But the true host of the night was that bootleg Transformers-sound bitch Omicron. SNL should’ve opened with Omicron smugly declaring, “Live from New York, it’s ME!” Because just hours before the show was to begin, we learned that SNL was hit with a COVID-19 breakout and several cast and crew members tested positive. Other cast members called out after deciding that it was too risky to do the show. And because of the bare-bones crew, musical Charli XCX also bowed out. All live skits were scrapped and the show was made up of an awkward cold open, pre-taped skits, classic skits, and Tina Fey filling in for Colin Jost on Weekend Update. Honestly, the show should’ve just been People’s Sexiest Man Alive winking and smoldering for the camera for 90-minutes straight.