Category: Guillermo Del Toro
The First Reactions For “Avatar: The Way Of Water” Are Overwhelmingly Positive
I hate reporting bad news. I really do. I know sometimes it may seem like I take joy in the suffering of others, but only when they deserve it. I am not a monster. And when the suffering is my own, or that of you, gentle reader, it causes me great pain and emotional distress. Earlier this year, and the three years preceding, I reported on the development of Top Gun 2: Maverick, a movie I was sure would be a flop. Reader— it was no flop. Top Gun 2: OT8 And Lovin’ It went on to become the 5th highest-grossing movie of all time, netting its star, Tom Cruise, more than $100 million earth credits to spend at any Scientology center of his choosing. And so I come now to you, humbled and dispirited, to report that James Cameron’s entry into the pantheon of Sequels to Movies Old Enough to Vote (in middle school elections in this case), Avatar: The Way of Water, is being heralded as “moviemaking & storytelling at its absolute finest,” and Guillermo del Toro has called James a “master at the peak of his power.”
Here’s Tom Hanks As Geppetto In The Teaser Trailer For Disney’s Live-Action “Pinocchio”
I’ve already seen 1971’s The Erotic Adventures of Pinocchio which is the only live-action Pinocchio I ever need to see, but since Disney didn’t get paid for that one they’re doing it themselves. In the first teaser trailer for Disney’s Pinocchio, Tom Hanks ditches the Flemish accent from Elvis in favor of a House of Geppetto accent as a creepy old man who gets on his hands and knees and wishes on a star for his wooden puppet to be transformed into a real boy knowing damn well every legitimate adoption agency in the world probably has his picture posted on the wall with the caption “DO NOT ADOPT TO THIS MAN. If you see him, please contact the F.B.I.”
Faye Dunaway And Warren Beatty Got It Right This Time
Or did they….?
I wouldn’t be surprised if the new PricewaterhouseCoopers accountants were too busy doing tequila shots out of Helen Mirren’s belly button backstage that they accidentally put the wrong card in the wrong envelope and Get Out was the true winner!