Julianne Hough Went To Davos To Get Exorcised From Her Ass

January 24, 2020 / Posted by:

Julianne Hough went to the World Economic Forum in Davos, to violently contort and squeal as she got an energy demon pulled out of her asshole by Gwyneth Paltrow‘s chiropractor who performs an exorcism on her Goop show. I mean… it is January 24–how is 2020 already like this? We got a long year ahead, folks.

Us Weekly reports that Julianne Hough is in Davos for the World Economic Forum. And apparently I have no fucking idea what “Davos” is about because Gwyneth Paltrow‘s chiropractor/“energy bodyworker” Dr. John Amaral is there teaching people about “energetic intelligence”… so… I thought “Davos” was about rich people coming together and lying to each other about how their economic choices aren’t leading to the collapse of civilization and destruction of the Earth–but apparently there’s that and also stuff about energy-related healing practices?

31-year-old Julianne did a demonstration with Dr. Amaral. He’s a chiropractor and I don’t know if that’s a quote-unquote “real” doctor–he might not even have a doctorate-degree, like this might be a less-than-Dr. Phil-doctor, which is LOW.  So Julianne spoke before the demo:

“I feel so much more liberated on the inside that I can speak my truth clearly, stand in my power and not feel overtaken by emotion, my mind, and I feel free inside myself to just be. Our body is our vessel to hold our energy, and that is the most prominent thing that we can take care of.”

What happens next is ludicrous–no offence to anybody out there but full-offence to everyone involved–Dr. Amaral touches Julianne’s back as she’s laying down, runs his hand down to her butt-hole–that’s where it’s positioned, you watch for yourself, but that’s where it is–and he pulls out her bad energy? He pulls out somethin’! She shrieks and contorts like she’s just been butt fucked by a lightning bolt. She’s showing her husband Brooks Laich how to really explore your sexuality.

Did I lie? Did I tell you anything but the truth? He pulled something out of her butt. I’m unclear what, how–and most of all–why, but he did. How did everyone in that audience not burst out laughing?

You wondering why her and Brooks Laich were having trouble? I’m not anymore–she’s into this crap! She’s gone full GP, Goop-practicing, vampire-repelling spirituality! Julianne will be on that Goop cruise. She is buying all the expensive vibrators. And don’t even ask how many jade eggs Julianne got stuffed up that cooch–she’s two pounds heavier, honey.

Speaking of Brooks, while Julianne was getting that energy cleansed, he was on Instagram talking about how he was going to “re-assess” things in his life. He wrote:

“I’m redefining my priorities, and putting happiness at the forefront. I’m making changes to my daily routine, and prioritizing the things that bring me the most joy. Everything else lines up behind those.”

Brooks you clearly need to talk to Julianne about this. You need to switch up your daily routine? Get yourself an energy enema. She loves them!

Pic: Twitter

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