One of the upsides of coronavirus quarantine is that nobody has to meet new people. We especially shouldn’t be meeting any of those disease vectors frequently referred to as “children.” That might pose a speed bump in Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas’ whirlwind romance because the next logical step in their relationship would be for Ana to meet Ben’s three kids. Given the circumstances, you’d think this wouldn’t even be up for consideration, however, Ben’s ex-wife Jennifer Garner isn’t about to let fate decide the fate of her children. According to Us Weekly, as part of her role as the chairwoman of the Corona Redundancy Committee, Jennifer doesn’t think now is the time for Ben to introduce Ana to his kids. You think? Meanwhile, Ben and Ana’s little quarantine family has grown to include Ben’s enormous German Shepherd. I guess Ana’s little dog wasn’t drawing enough attention so Ben pulled out the big gun for Monday’s scheduled pap stroll.
Where’s Ben been hiding this beast these past few weeks? I guess it’s hard to walk and cuddle with frequent stops to lovingly stroke each other’s faces (a corona-no-no to be sure) when you have a 90lb dire wolf pulling you down the street. Still, People reports that Ben and Ana were “sweetly cuddling” during Monday’s stroll so hats off to them for their fortitude and bravery during this difficult time. According to People:
The new couple were seen walking the actress’ dog in Los Angeles on Monday, just one of many similar outings in the past few weeks.
Affleck, 47, and de Armas, 31, were seen sweetly cuddling on their walk, with Affleck giving his new girlfriend a kiss on the forehead as she leaned into him at one point.
ana de armas walks her dog, ben affleck. pic.twitter.com/U4cd4Ghg2i
— tits (@letsbians) March 31, 2020
In case you’re wondering what happens if one of the dogs takes a dump in front of the cameras, don’t. Seriously, you have enough to worry about. Let me take this burden for you. It’s never going to happen. Ben and Ana are professionals! A TikTok user, who caught part of the action, claims he saw Ana call the paparazzi herself. I’m sure they’ve thoroughly douched those dogs’ asses well in advance.
no words😭 pic.twitter.com/VX0L3GsMfK
— ⓝ (@margotDiCaprio_) April 1, 2020
Ben and Ana are so shameless I’m embarrassed for them and impressed by them in equal measure. As for Jennifer, she’s no slouch either when it comes to drawing attention to herself during quarantine. Jennifer took the whole family out for a walk including their cat who rode in a stroller.
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This is the cutest thing you'll see today 😻 @jennifer.garner with Violet, Sera and Sam on March 31 👩👧👧 #TheWayBack #benaffleck #бенаффлек #brucewayne #affleck #batman #actor #movie #Cinema #Daredevil #dceu #dc #justiceleague #ReleaseTheSnyderCut #DeepWater #anadearmas #seraphinaaffleck #samuelaffleck #violetaffleck #jennifergarner #caseyaffleck
I wouldn’t be surprised if when Ben and Ana do their stroll tomorrow, Ben is topless, showing off a new tattoo and carrying a tiger cub. If Jen has her say, these two parades won’t be meeting up anytime soon. According to Us:
A source reveals exclusively in the new issue of Us Weekly that the Alias alum, 47, does not want her three children with the Oscar winner, also 47, to meet the Knives Out star, 31, until the time is right.
“Ben is understanding,” the source tells Us. “[He] said he would work with Jennifer to prepare the kids for meeting [Ana].”
God please let us live long enough to witness the eventual circus called The Blended Family Big Top Corona Quarantine Pap Parade featuring three kids, three dogs, a cat in a stroller, and if we’re lucky, a hamburger flipping robot.