R. Kelly Denies That His “Girlfriend” Joycelyn Savage Is Pregnant With His Baby

Due to the cruel, insidious nature of his perversion and fuckery, even while locked behind bars serving a 30-year sentence for raketeering and sex trafficking, Robert Sylvester Kelly’s influence over his victims, alleged or proven otherwise in a court of law by a jury of his peers, still reaches far beyond that itchy spot in the center of his back that I cursed him with during my coven’s most recent workshop, Petty Justice: Hexes and Hot Wings. Robert may be rubbing his back raw up against the cinder block walls of his jail cell, but last week, Joycelyn Savage, his most loyal and vocal “girlfriend,” claimed he proposed to her and that she’s pregnant with his child. Just in case you don’t have any plans next weekend, our next workshop will be Oh Hell No: G&Ts and Fournier’s Gangrene. It’s a virtual meeting and all are welcome!

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