Category: Lucky Babies
Princess Beatrice Is Pregnant With Her First Child
I don’t know if Queen Elizabeth splurges hard on ultra-expensive, deeply impractical baby gifts for her grandbabies, like hand-engraved platinum-dipped Diaper Genies, or if she’s the type to send a Buckingham Palace guard down to the shops with a fist-full of $20s to pick up a couple of y gift cards. But whatever type of Great Granny she is, she better double up on her 2021 baby gift budget. Because The Queen isn’t just expecting one new great-grandchild, but two. Ten months after their tiny socially distanced pandemic wedding, Princess Beatrice and Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi are expecting their first child.
Rihanna Wants A Bunch Of Kids
Music/make up/lingerie/skincare/fashion mogul Rihanna is British Vogue’s May cover girl. Because everything she touches makes herstory, RiRi wore a durag on the cover, a first for the magazine.
In the accompanying interview, 32-year-old Rihanna is asked about her ten year plan. Cure all disease? Build a galactic empire? Finally release that ninth album? Nope. Her answer was actually pretty standard. Have 3 to 4 kids! Guess she was inspired by her ex Drake’s recent child acknowledgment. Or not. She just ignored his thirsty ass on an Instagram Live Chat.
Kobe And Vanessa Bryant Are Expecting A Fourth Baby Girl
One of America’s most successful bag securers is about to add another 6-8 lb bundle to her already impressive collection. Vanessa Bryant and her Oscar-winning husband Kobe Bryant have just announced that they are expecting a baby girl who will join her sisters Natalia, 15, Gianna, 12, and Bianka, 2. I guess the Bryant’s aren’t satisfied with merely supporting young athletes with their Mamba Sports Academy, they want to grow their own damn WNBA team as well.
Matt Damon Almost Shed Tears When George Clooney Told Him About The Twins
George and Amal Clooney are still LARPing as our generation’s JFK and Jackie. And that means the clock has started on the non-stop baby news. As we know, Amal is pregnant with twins (which is SO in right now). George’s friend Matt Damon is starting to do press for The Great Wall just as the news of the Clooney twins broke. Matt told Entertainment Tonight Canada that he knew about the twins waaaaay before everyone else did, and he almost cried. Probably because he knew the end of the world is upon us now we’ve seen the final sign of the apocalypse (aka the news that George Clooney is going be a father).
Megan From Mad Men Is A Mom Now
And today I learned that Jessica Paré’s baby daddy John Kastner sort of looks like what you’d get if that sneaky snake Pete Campbell got Don Draper hooked on peyote and abandoned him at a spiritual retreat in the desert during a SCDP business trip. Oh shit, did I just spoil the ending to Man Men for myself?
But back to Megan from Mad Men. For those of you thinking “Wait, Megan from Mad Men was pregnant?” – yes she was, and yesterday her boyfriend posted a picture of his 8-year-old daughter holding the baby they made together to Instagram with the caption:
“Please meet Blues Anthony Paré Kastner…“
This is Jessica’s first kid and John’s second.
Jessica and John (born name: Jean-Guy) are both French Canadian, so I’m personally shocked that they didn’t name their new baby something ultra-Québécois. I’m barely 1/16th French Canadian, but every time I think about naming something like a fish or a plant, my mind immediately goes to Céline or Étienne or Jean-Luc Guy de la Guy. But Blues is fine, I guess. Also if you switch his names around, you get Tony Blues, which sounds like the name of a street tough in a movie about 1950s denim gangs, and let’s be honest – that’s a pretty cool nickname.
And maybe if Baby Blues is lucky, his first stop on his way home from the hospital will be to visit mommy’s hot pretend husband Jon Hamm. Is it weird that I just wished I could pull a Freaky Friday with a baby?
(via UsWeekly)
Taylor Swift Is Going To Be A Godmother
Fairy godmothers everywhere probably just started texting all the other fairy godmothers about how they might as well quit, because it’s only a matter of time before Tracy Flick’s more ambitious cousin Taylor Swift puts them out of a job. “I heard she rented out the Eiffel Tower so her godchild could have a private pizza dinner with Beyonce. The last thing I did for mine was turn a pumpkin into a coach. I can’t compete with that!”
The most adult member of Taylor Swift’s popular high school girls clique, Jaime King, is currently knocked up with her second child, and she decided to ask Tay Tay to be the baby’s godmother. Congrats, baby – you won the lottery, and you’re not even born yet! Taylor announced the news by posting a picture of her rubbing on Jaime’s pregnant stomach to Instagram last night with the caption: “Guess who just got named Godmother of this little one….. (ME)“. And Jaime double-confirmed the news by posting the following:
That looks like 97% of the awkward amateur photographer pregnancy photo shoots I’ve seen on Facebook. The only thing that’s missing is a giant script font watermark in the lower right-hand corner, Jaime making a heart shape with her hands, and Taylor looking like she just got called up from the basement where she was playing Xbox live (ie. shirtless with jeans and a look that says “Are we almost done?“).
Pics: Instagram