Princess Beatrice And Edo Mozzi Finally Pulled The Trigger And Quietly Married

July 17, 2020 / Posted by:

Well, Edoardo Mapeli Mozzi blew his last chance to avoid being related to Prince Andrew and The Original Fergie. According to People, Edo and Princess Beatrice finally just went ahead and did the damn thing. They were married this morning in a private ceremony at The Royal Chapel of All Saints at Royal Lodge, Windsor (AKA her parent’s house). The ceremony was attended by a handful of close friends and family and was conducted “in accordance with all relevant Government Guidelines,” How romantic! It marked the first time THE QUEEN and Prince Philip have left their Quoronaqueentine (™) bubble since going into lockdown with 22 of their most loyal staff, 19 of which are in charge of operating Philip’s puppet-matronics.

Bea and Edo were originally meant to have had a big ceremony in May but it was postponed then canceled altogether due to the coronavirus pandemic. According to People:

Queen Elizabeth, 94, and Prince Philip, 99, were among the small number of guests, including Beatrice’s father, Prince Andrew, 60. There were about 20 close friends and family at the ceremony at All Saint’s Chapel, in Windsor Great Park — a short drive from the castle.

A statement from Buckingham Palace said, “The private wedding ceremony of Princess Beatrice and Mr. Edoardo Mapelli Mozzi took place at 11 a.m. on Friday 17th July at The Royal Chapel of All Saints at Royal Lodge, Windsor.”

“The small ceremony was attended by The Queen, The Duke of Edinburgh and close family. The wedding took place in accordance with all relevant Government Guidelines,” the statement read.

There are no pictures available from the ceremony, perhaps due in part to Andrew having recently undergone a face transplant procedure in preparation for fleeing the country to live under an assumed identity immediately following the ceremony. Allegedly. I’m sure a Friday morning ceremony with no buffet and getting walked down the aisle by a mysterious man named Bob wasn’t what Bea imagined for her big day, but we’re all doing what we can to adjust to the unusual circumstances at hand. Here are THE QUEEN and Philip Doll #6.2 (the lightweight travel one with the “good teeth”) arriving and departing their Granddaughter’s wedding in under an hour.

Apparently Liz had someplace else to be!

The Sun, which broke the news, reported that the Queen had to leave the nuptials early for Capt. Tom Moore‘s knighthood ceremony, where she bestowed him with the honor back at the castle.

The Sun adds:

A friend of Beatrice and Edoardo said the nuptials were arranged today to make sure the Queen could attend before she leaves Windsor for Balmoral at the end of the month.

“They were obviously very keen for the Queen to come so the wedding had to happen before she goes up to Balmoral so this was a great opportunity.

It is understood Beatrice spent the night before the wedding at the 30-room Royal Lodge with mum Sarah Ferguson and dad Andrew, before making the walk to the church in the grounds.

A large delivery of beer was seen outside Windsor Castle this afternoon, although it is not known whether it was used for the wedding.

BEER?! Poor Bea. This is The Firm’s version of a shotgun wedding. The Queen’s got places to be, the feds are breathing down the neck of the Father of the Bride, and Philip’s got the grim reaper breathing down his. Edo had his chance, it must be true love.


Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or get into long-ass fights, or go way off topic when not in an Open Post. Also, promoting adblockers is not allowed. And some comment threads will be pre-moderated, so it may take a second for your comment to show up if it's approved.

alt="drupal analytics" >