The mommy shamers are out in full force, and, for once, they aren’t coming for CoCo. Nope, Yahoo! News says that today, their pitchforks are sharpened for target Jessica Simpson, who committed the heinous crime of letting her 3-year-old daughter Birdie suck on a pacifier and then proceeded to post pictures of it on Instagram. Disgusting. Please tell me someone in the comments tagged Child Services.
Last month, Post Malone announced that he’s expecting his first baby with his girlfriend, who so far has remained unnamed and mysterious. But, he has been pretty open about his own journey into impending parenthood. According to a recent interview, Post seems to fancy himself a future DILF, and I’m guessing that his interpretation of the acronym is the traditional “Dad I’d Like to Fuck,” differing from mine when I think of him, which is “Dad I’d Like to Febreze.”
Shaquille O’Neal Says That His Daughters Can Stay At Home As Long As They Want But His Sons “Got To Go” By 18
Shaquille O’Neal is known for a lot of things: basketball skills, dynamic acting talent, and an ability to shill everything under the sun (Gold Bond, anyone?). But did you know The General’s second-in-command is also the proud father of six children? And as a father, Shaq has some strict rules when it comes to raising his kids. Namely, if you’re a boy, you’re out the door at 18!
Sandra Bullock Went On “Red Table Talk” To Talk About The Challenges of Coparenting And Transracial Adoption
I used to think the ballsiest thing Sandra Bullock ever did was to threaten her reputation as America’s Sweetheart by marrying a probable “history buff.“ But she just took another big risk by appearing on Red Table Talk flanked by three distractively stunning women. Personally, I would never let my face be seen within an inch of Willow Smith and Jada Pinket Smith’s mugs, not when they are both bald-headed and lashed up. Nuh uh, I can look like a forgotten root cellar rutabaga all on my own, thank you very much. I do not need the contrast. But Sandy’s got a movie she needs us to watch so she put her glam squad to work and talked about surprising her (new at the time) boyfriend, photographer Bryan Randall, with the news that she was about to bring home a second child. With Willow just sitting there, barely a stitch of makeup and positively glowing. That is why, despite having once risked contracting every STD known to man or ape, Sandy speaking about transracial adoption and the challenges of co-parenting on Facebook Watch, might be the bravest thing Sandy has ever done. Couldn’t be me.
It is with a heavy sigh that I must report that Kim Zolciak still has a job on TV. According to People, Don’t Be Tardy is still on the air, and Kim’s still pimping out her preschool aged kids for publicity. Kim posted a screenshot her 5-year-old daughter Kaia Rose taken from a DBT interview to Instagram, in which she appears to be wearing eyeliner, fake lashes and/or mascara, and lipstick. This is the same little girl Kim was accused of Photoshopping a fuller pucker onto at the age of 4. So when people saw Kaia painted like a circus clown this far from Halloween, they had some questions. Kim’s response to her critics was to call them all “sweetie” and deny everything. Somehow Kim has managed to live on this crowded ass planet for “41” years, yet somehow thinks everybody else was born yesterday.
Jennifer Garner has three kids; Samuel Garner, 7, Seraphina Rose Elizabeth, 10, and Violet Anne, 13. And few in Hollywood can work a family pap stroll as effortlessly as Jen. Throughout the course of her marriage to Ben Affleck, through the good times, and the bad (and the bad times art directed to look like good times), we’ve seen Jen and the kids eat ice cream while Ben mopes, we’ve seen Jen and the kids at a 4th of July parade while Ben mopes, and we’ve seen Jen and the kids going to church while Ben mopes. But as likely as you are to see Jen’s kids at the checkout line on the cover of the National Enquirer, you’re equally unlikely to see them on her Instagram page. In a recent interview for InStyle, Jennifer says she’s too protective of her kids’ privacy to share pictures of them on social media. Mass market media only!