During this pandemic, many people have said “fuck it” to keeping up their beauty, and aren’t even thinking about getting their hair done, let alone letting a doctor get close up to their face to stab it with a Botox needle. But Kim Zolciak, the yapping Barbie styling head from the Real Housewives Of Atlanta, is not one of those people. While on Andy Cohen‘s Watch What Happens Live, Kim talked about how she and her 23-year-old look-alike daughter, Brielle Biermann, ran off to get their Botox on as soon as it was legally possible. You’re probably on the floor now after fainting with shock over learning that Kim Zolciak uses Botox. We all figured she was an all-natural beauty! But Kim claims the Botox is also for her headaches, okay?
Way back in January, 22-year-old Brielle Biermann, semi-professional fame whore/daughter of former Real Housewife Kim Zolciak, shocked the world by announcing that she was going to let her trout fillers dissolve, and go back to her natural lips. She claimed, on an Instagram story of course, that she was “gonna look like 18 year old Brielle again soon.” Well, the trout fillers are back.
When you’re a fame whore who’s famous for I don’t even know, you gotta keep the attention flowing. How do you do that? Well, you make the entire lip filler industry shake by announcing that you’re done with them. Enter: Brielle Biermann‘s lip filler. Or rather, exit, because like others before her, she’s announced on social media that she’s dissolving her filler.
It is with a heavy sigh that I must report that Kim Zolciak still has a job on TV. According to People, Don’t Be Tardy is still on the air, and Kim’s still pimping out her preschool aged kids for publicity. Kim posted a screenshot her 5-year-old daughter Kaia Rose taken from a DBT interview to Instagram, in which she appears to be wearing eyeliner, fake lashes and/or mascara, and lipstick. This is the same little girl Kim was accused of Photoshopping a fuller pucker onto at the age of 4. So when people saw Kaia painted like a circus clown this far from Halloween, they had some questions. Kim’s response to her critics was to call them all “sweetie” and deny everything. Somehow Kim has managed to live on this crowded ass planet for “41” years, yet somehow thinks everybody else was born yesterday.
Shit You Learn When You’re Not A Parent: Some States Require Grade School Age Children To Sit In A Car Booster Seat
Who knew that the comment section of a fame whore’s Instagram page could be a place of learning? The off-brand Barbie styling head that was brought to life by a fame whore fairy to be a star on Bravo, Kim Zolciak, posted a picture on Instagram of her 6-year-old son @kashbiermann (yes, he has his own Instagram page. I mean look who his mom is…) sitting in a booster car seat. And as the moms of Instagram fought in the comments over whether or not Kash is too big for a booster car seat, I learned that in some states, kids of a certain height are required to sit in a booster car seat. Call me dumb (it wouldn’t be the first time today, I have talked to my mom a couple of times already), but I never knew this. How times have changed. When I was 6 years old, car safety consisted of my mom or dad throwing their arm over my chest in the passenger seat when they broke too hard, or my uncle screaming, “Hold on to the side, I’m about drive over a bump,” out the window as we rode in the back of his pick-up truck.
The Daily Mail is saying that 40-year-old Bravo plastic Muppet Kim Zolciak may have taken some artistic liberties when posting a picture of her 4-year-old twins Kaia and Kane to social media this week. Above is Kim keeping very calm and still as to not alarm her child as a terrifying pair of mutated slugs attack her face.
Kim’s 21-year-old daughter Brielle (the one who’s a big fan of John Legend) shared a picture of her siblings to her Instagram story, and since Kim does whatever Brielle does in order to stay cool, young, hip and relevant, she shared the same picture. But people noticed it was slightly different. It would seem that in Kim’s picture Kaia was given a larger butt and a smaller nose. “Just the butt and nose?! What about boobs and lips?” cackled Kris Jenner before declaring Kim Z an amateur.