Category: Parenthood

Pink Jumped To Jessica Simpson’s Defense With A Picture Of Her Kid Getting Her Hair Dyed

August 2, 2019 / Posted by:

Pink’s promise to keep her kids off Instagram lasted approximately as long as it takes for my poop alarm to go off after I’ve had my first cup of coffee. In other words, no time at all! After railing against her haters for criticizing her parenting choices and swearing off sharing any pictures of her kids at all, Pink quickly changed her tune posted them running through the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe in Berlin to prove a point/stick it to the man/show off her mad cocktail-making skills. Now Pink’s using her kids on social media to defend Jessica Simpson against haters who got mad at Jessica’s  7-year-old daughter getting a dye job. To make her point that #ParentingPoliceAreJustLoneySadPeople, Pink posted a picture of her dying her 8-year-old daughter Willow’s hair blue. If you don’t like, too bad. Pink turned the comments off.

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Milla Jovovich’s Entire Family Sleeps In The Same Bed

April 11, 2019 / Posted by:

Milla Jovovich is co-sleeping with her 11 year old, her 4 year old and her husband in a giant-ass bed (actually two giant ass beds pushed together) and I am….confused. As someone whose kids occasionally share a bed  (like if we’re at a hotel or one of them is sick) and it’s my living NIGHTMARE. My kids kick and twitch more then a meth-outed Justin Bieber hugging his fans. Plus they don’t know who any of the Housewives are and I don’t have time to explain why Bethany Frankel is yelling again.

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Jada Pinkett Smith Was “Devastated” When Jaden Smith Wanted To Be Emancipated At 15

June 5, 2018 / Posted by:

Now that Jada Pinkett Smith has her own Facebook show, Red Table Talks, she’s been sharing all sorts of nuggets from the Pinkett-Smith family vault. One such tidbit is that she was devastated when Jaden Smith asked to be emancipated at age 15. You see, back when he was just a little proto-humanoid, Jaden wanted to be emancipated from his overbearing parents. Can you believe those monsters wouldn’t even help him find a doctor who would perform a surgery on him that would reverse his torso so he could wear his pants backwards without actually wearing backwards pants?! Will and Jada told him “no son, if you want reverse torso surgery, you’re going to have to find a doctor to perform it yourself and pay for it out of your own elective surgery allowance!”. Parents, they just don’t understand!

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Sean Penn Smoked On “The Late Show,” And Talked About Robin Wright’s Parenting On “WTF”

March 27, 2018 / Posted by:

As Joni Mitchell says “you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone” and that’s exactly how I feel about Sean Penn. There was a long dormant period when Sean was off doing his thing and we didn’t really have to hear about it but now he’s got this new novel to promote (serious question: How do you read while your eyes are rolling? Is it physically possible?) and he’s making the rounds with a little pig pen poof of American Spirit smoke hovering over his head. In addition to lighting up on stage while in an Ambien induced haze on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, E! reports that Sean was also a guest on the WFT podcast with Marc Maron and talked about ex-wife Robin Wright’s parenting style.

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Mila Kunis And Ashton Kutcher Will Not Be Giving Their Children Trust Funds

March 6, 2018 / Posted by:

Having famous, rich, attractive parents sounds like winning the kid lottery. But for Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher’s kids, it’s closer to winning $200 on a scratcher than hitting it big on Powerball. The Kunis-Kutchers are planning to eschew nepotism and force their kids make it on their own. According E!, Ashton appeared on his Punk’d pal Dax Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast and revealed that his kids aren’t getting trust funds from mommy and daddy.

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George Clooney Talks About Parenthood

August 30, 2017 / Posted by:

I imagine that George Clooney has to put up with people asking stupid questions during a press tour. In exchange for plugging his own projects, he must in turn indulge the media and endure a barrage of questions like “Hey George, do you like toast?” or “Hey George, which shoe do you put on first?” or “Hey George, what does Brad smell like?

George directed a movie called Suburbicon which comes out in October, so now he has to answer a whole lot of questions about his twins, wife Amal Clooney, and fatherhood. Tit for tat, Georgie boy! Will you deliver the titillating truth bombs or will it be numbingly boring platitudes and bullshit? Remember, your movie’s box office depends on this!

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