Post Malone Says He’s Going To Be A “Hot Dad”
Last month, Post Malone announced that he’s expecting his first baby with his girlfriend, who so far has remained unnamed and mysterious. But, he has been pretty open about his own journey into impending parenthood. According to a recent interview, Post seems to fancy himself a future DILF, and I’m guessing that his interpretation of the acronym is the traditional “Dad I’d Like to Fuck,” differing from mine when I think of him, which is “Dad I’d Like to Febreze.”
According to People, Post’s next album Twelve Carat Toothache drops tomorrow, June 3, so he appeared on Apple 1 Music’s The Zane Lowe Show to promote it. He also discussed his excitement about becoming Papa Posty and how he’s been dreaming of it since way back in the day when people could still see what he looked like before he got the “passed out drunk with my shoes on at a party so everyone Sharpie-d my face” treatment:
“I’m pumped beyond belief,” Post said. “As a kid, I was like 4 or 5, and I had this little baby I would carry around everywhere…it was a baby doll. And I thought that was the coolest thing. I would take him around everywhere. And I don’t know how long that lasted. But my mom still has it…I’m so pumped up,” he adds. “I’m going to be a hot dad.”
Below is a snippet of the interview and the full thing can be found here.
The “hot” part is subjective so form your own opinion there, but Post has definitely mastered some universally acceptable dad gimmicks, like having a Bud Light attached to his hand at all times while dancing awkwardly in Crocs and ripping cigs.
Post seems really happy about this judging from his interviews about it and comes off like a kind dude when interacting with his fans, so good for him for making the transition from “poppin’ pillies” to poppin’ (baby) bottles. I’m sure despite the real estate on his head being almost full of tatts, he’ll find some way to scrawl something else unintelligible on there to commemorate this momentous occasion.
No comment yet from Post’s growing fetus, but I’d have to assume as they move toward the light and see their father’s face waiting for them Earth-side, their first thoughts will be: “what is that thing, a graffiti-ed bathroom stall? Why is every word it says autotuned and why does it stink like Marlboro Reds in here?”
Pic: Instagram