Twenty years ago, Mary-Louise Parker, Billy Crudup, and Claire Danes were involved in a très public Scandoval; Billy (then 35) left a pregnant Mary-Louise (39) for Claire (24), his co-star in that movie Stage Beauty. The cheaters split in 2006, and last Friday, Billy married Naomi Watts at a Manhattan courthouse. I liked her dress. Anywho, this week, Mary-Louise did an interview with The Guardian and chatted about audiobooks, a potential Weeds reboot, and Botox. As things were winding down, the interviewer asked Mary-Louise for her thoughts on Billy and Naomi’s recent nuptials. Mary-Louise seemed “stunned to be asked about this,” and she quickly responded that she wished them both well. Then, ML’s publicist ended the Zoom interview: “That’s ten minutes!” Bringing up someone’s cheating ex: a fantastic way to kill a conversation.
Yesterday was a big day for those who haven’t been keeping up with the dating lives of Naomi Watts and Billy Crudup and thought he was still with Claire Danes and she was still with Liev Schreiber. Naomi Watts confirmed that she and her man Billy Crudup made it legal in a Manhattan courthouse wedding.
Naomi Watts did an interview with Entertainment Weekly and talked about menopause, ageism, and showbiz, baby! 54-year-old Naomi says that when she hit it big with 2001’s Mulholland Drive, she was 33 (“on death’s door” in Hollywood years), and she was told to hurry up and do a bunch of movies before turning 40, the age when she’d become officially “unfuckable.” Because, as everyone knows, a woman’s vagina seals shut the moment they enter their fifth decade. Unfuckable!
Open Post: Hosted By Tilda Swinton Looking Like The Mayor Of Whoville At The VFF Premiere Of “Suspiria”
If you can’t get Toni Collette for your satanic dance academy horror flick remake (ooo, Hereditary was so good and she was so good in it as Trauma Mom), then you grab yourself some Tilda Swinton! Tilda is the androgynous acting angel whose handsome countenance lifts every movie she’s in to a much higher level. Here she is at the Suspiria premiere at the Venice International Film Festival yesterday looking like she’s about to shut the Grinch down with some roast beast and a bit of “HA HOO WHORE HAY.”
Luca Guadagnino’s remake of the 1977 horror classic Suspiria is getting mixed reviews so far, but Tilda’s been noted as the bright spot. And there’s a rumor that 82-year-old newcomer Lutz Ebersdorf, who plays a shrink in the movie, is really Tilda in heavy prosthetics. Luca has denied that. I believe Luca. Like Tilda needs prosthetics to change into another face. All she has to do is raise her face toward the rays shooting off of her home planet and hum the shape-shifting chant of her alien ancestors as her face changes into that of an 82-year-old German man. Prosthetics! How insult. They act like Tilda is a mere human.
Check out more pics of Tilda from the Suspiria premiere in the gallery below including Dakota Johnson, Thom Yorke (he did the music), Cate Blanchett, Naomi Watts, Alek Wek, Chloe Grace Moretz, Mia Goth, and the original Suspiria’s star Jessica Harper!
Naomi Watts really did a number on me last year when it came out that (despite Liev Schrieber’s versatility in bouncing from a Shakespearean role to playing Cotton Weary in Scream) Liev would NOT maintain his 11-year part in pleasing Naomi’s Aussie cooch. The duo split, and garbled out the typical “We have huge love and respect for one another and high hopes for it to remain that way going forward” ca-ca. That is the usual prerequisite in Hollywood, before one of them fucks a member of the hired help and then has to buy them a Prius as hush money.
Well, it seems Naomi’s role as a horny therapist in Gypsy is sending tingles to her lady bits, as Page Six reports. Supposedly, she’s bumping Down Unders with her TV-husband (and MasterCard “Priceless” guy!) Billy Crudup. Continue reading
Tomorrow we find out if all the hard work and hand jobs Ryan Reynolds has been giving have paid off when the Oscar nominations are announced. But today we find out whose lazy hand job of a performance was rewarded with a 2017 Razzie nomination
There was a nominations sweep at this year’s Razzies. Zoolander 2 got 9 nominations, followed closely behind by Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice with 8. Sorry, 1997’s Batman and Robin, it looks like you’re still the Batman movie with the most Razzie nominations. But don’t worry, there’s a chance that Batman movie written and directed by Ben Affleck could happen.
Jared Leto’s award dreams came true in the most Twilight Zone-y of ways. He’s not going to get the Oscar nomination he was no doubt sure he was going to get, but he did get a Worst Supporting Actor Razzie for Suicide Squad. And Julia Roberts’ performance as Lady Wearing a Bad Wig in Mother’s Day earned her a Worst Actress nomination. That wig didn’t get a Worst Supporting Actor nomination, because of course it didn’t; that wig worked its ass off and supported her like a load-bearing beam.
And Ben Affleck received his 10th Razzie nomination today. The big one-zero! He should go out and celebrate tonight for reaching a career milestone. Maybe his BFF Tom Brady will treat Ben to a steamed green bean and unseasoned fish dinner at his house.
The list of nominees is after the cut.