Twenty years ago, Mary-Louise Parker, Billy Crudup, and Claire Danes were involved in a très public Scandoval; Billy (then 35) left a pregnant Mary-Louise (39) for Claire (24), his co-star in that movie Stage Beauty. The cheaters split in 2006, and last Friday, Billy married Naomi Watts at a Manhattan courthouse. I liked her dress. Anywho, this week, Mary-Louise did an interview with The Guardian and chatted about audiobooks, a potential Weeds reboot, and Botox. As things were winding down, the interviewer asked Mary-Louise for her thoughts on Billy and Naomi’s recent nuptials. Mary-Louise seemed “stunned to be asked about this,” and she quickly responded that she wished them both well. Then, ML’s publicist ended the Zoom interview: “That’s ten minutes!” Bringing up someone’s cheating ex: a fantastic way to kill a conversation.
The interviewer, clearly a dirty lil’ gossipmonger like you and I, tried to connect the Billy-Naomi nuptials to Mary-Louise’s book of personal essays from 2015:
Parker’s essay collection garnered critical acclaim, especially for Dear Mr Cabdriver, a piece addressed to a taxi driver who picked Parker up on a day when the actor, who’d recently been dumped by Crudup, lost her patience with another taxi driver who couldn’t find his way to her destination. It was the one entry that editors identified to be about Crudup, and it made headlines.
OK, nice. Bring up the eight-year-old essays for no apparent reason. Then, in the next paragraph, they just go for it:
When Parker speaks with the Guardian, news of Crudup’s surprise courthouse marriage to Naomi Watts is only three days old. She seems stunned to be asked about this – we’d been talking about books, and Botox and Brooklyn. “I wish them well,” she’s quick to say, her eyes a little betrayed. “And absolutely, I honestly of course wish them every happiness because that’s my son’s father. So I’m happy for them. I’m happy they found each other –”
“That was 10 minutes!” Her publicist chimes in.
“Say hi to me on the street!” Parker cries out before the screen goes black.
ML and Billy’s William Atticus Parker is 19 years old. 58-year-old Mary-Louise adopted a baby girl, Caroline Aberash Parker, in 2007. 54-year-old Billy didn’t have any more kids… that we know of. I wouldn’t put a couple of secret babies past that love rat!
As for the Botox part of the interview, Mary-Louise reveals she’s not a fan. Turns out she’s been working on a film about the anti-aging industry with 57-year-old Justine Bateman, who’s been vocal about her decision to skip fillers and other cosmetic surgeries:
Is Parker in the same camp? She rolls her eyes and leans in close to the camera. Her forehead is high and beautiful, and riven with horizontal lines. “How do you express stuff?” she asks. “I’m a theatre actress. As you can see by my forehead and my eyes, I like to be able to express myself. It’s like, if I can’t move my forehead, there’s so many things you can’t convey.”
Yeah. Like, if Mary-Louise had frozen her face with Botox, we wouldn’t have known that she was “stunned” to be asked about Billy, or that her eyes seemed “a little betrayed.” Instead, the interviewer would’ve used adjectives like “emotionless” and “coldly.” And that’s simply not as likable or dramatic.
Pics: JOHN NACION/startraksphoto.com & Marion Curtis/StarPix for Apple/Startraksphoto.com/Cover Images