Category: Henry Cavill

Open Post: Hosted By Superman’s Black Suit In The “Snyder Cut” Of “Justice League”

July 27, 2020 / Posted by:

Zack Snyder had to step back from the Justice League movie after the tragic death of his daughter. The film was taken over by Joss Whedon and what ended up getting released was panned by pretty much everybody.

For years people called on the “Snyder Cut” of the film to be released because they believed his version was actually watchable. Zack appeared via video at JusticeCon and spoke to the nerd community all about his cut, which is coming to HBO Max in 2021. He even released a clip featuring Henry Cavill in a black super-suit. The black suit was nixed because the studio apparently hated it. I will wait to give my thoughts until there’s a better shot of Henry’s Superman bulge in that black Superman suit.

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Henry Cavill Dehydrated Himself For Three Days So He Could Look Good Shirtless On “The Witcher”

December 24, 2019 / Posted by:

Sexism is over ladies: Men have to suffer to look good now, too! Henry Cavill, who could break my spine with his bare hands and I would thank him, told Graham Norton about how he got to look so got-damn sexy for those shirtless bathtub scenes in his new series The Witcher. I have not watched this show, because I wasn’t sure how much shirtlessness there was, and now I may have to investigate because the ratio sounds decent.

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Henry Cavill Has Responded To The Rumor That He’s Done Playing Superman

September 13, 2018 / Posted by:

Yesterday, The Hollywood Reporter broke news that we might never see Henry Cavill’s thick thighs squeezed into his Superman suit ever again. Warner Bros. released a statement saying they loved working with Henry and that no decisions have been made, but they wouldn’t confirm whether he was officially done or not. Henry has jumped into the conversation, but he hasn’t said much either.

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Henry Cavill May No Longer Be Superman

September 12, 2018 / Posted by:

The Hollywood Reporter is saying that Henry Cavill may be parting ways with Warner Bros. and will no longer be playing Superman. I guess his jaw was too square, his voice too loins-quakingly deep, his personality too dead (or not dead enough) and his body too muscular and perfect.

Although nothing is confirmed by either Warner Bros nor Henry’s camp, those three Superman movies, Man of Steel, Batman v. Superman and Justice League are said to be the only movies which will feature the hunky brit as the alien super hero who hides among us through the use of  non-prescription glasses.

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Open Post: Hosted By Angela Bassett Serving Bedazzled Squished Chichis At The Paris “Mission: Impossible – Fallout” Premiere 

July 13, 2018 / Posted by:

If you want to see an ugly cluster of tragic and homely fashions and don’t have access to my closet, get into the gallery below for the Paris premiere of Mission: Impossible – Fallout yesterday. Henry Cavill wore a raggedy suit that looks like it was tailored by someone who wasn’t amused by the butt corn kernel he spit out about #MeToo. Rebecca Ferguson wore something that Breathless Mahoney would wear if Breathless Mahoney shopped at T.J. Maxx (my mom is going to double slap me down with her TJX Rewards card for this T.J. Maxx slander). And Tommy Cruise stuffed himself into the same old boring stock broker manager suit he always wears, and paired it with the same old tired cha-cha heels. But thankfully, a bright shining messy star in the form of Angela Bassett saved the drab day.

Angela’s face was snatched like a Thundercat sucking on a lemon, and she figured she’d give the kids heart palpitations by making her stylist rip the lining out of her freakum jumpsuit. I bet that even Tom Cruise stared at Angela’s goodies in that jumpsuit, but only because all those stars and shit remind him of the flight path through the galaxy he and the other high-ranking queens of Scientology are going to take when they go back to their home planet.

And that muffled scream you’re hearing is from Angela’s titty balls gasping for air as they’re being choked by bedazzled netting in the name of glamour. Seeing Angela’s smooshed chest domes makes me want to call 911 for them, and she just so happens to star in a show called 9-1-1. So she’s really promoting two projects at once. A marketing genius!


Henry Cavill Is Sorry For The Messy Dingle His Brain Farted Up About #MeToo

July 12, 2018 / Posted by:

It still boggles my mind that the publicists of Hollywood haven’t gathered up all their dude clients, and hammered their brains into simply saying, “I support the #MeToo and Time’s Up movements. The end.“, every time they’re asked about sexual harassment and abuse in their industry and beyond. But because some haven’t done that, pretty-faced piles of dumb like Henry Cavill get themselves into trouble by spewing verbal fart bubbles about how he’s afraid to flirt with a woman because she might blow her rape whistle on him. Who knew that Henry Cavill took a course in #MeToo 101 from Professor Morrissey?

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