No, not Khloe Kardashian. Wouldn’t that be a nauseating twist in the Kardashian Koven Khronicle? Another one. TMZ reports that Kylie Jenner’s ex-boyfriend Tyga was once married to Jordan Craig, who shares a child with Khloe’s cheating ex Tristan Thompson. Please keep in mind that Tyga also has a kid with Rob Kardashian’s ex Blac Chyna. These people need a new goddamn dating pool. One of their kids is going to be born with an extra eye or limb or something.
If there’s something you can count on, it’s Kris Jenner loving all her children equally. LOL JK–which one is making the most money for her the day you’re reading this? It’s that one. Kris showed off her boundless love for her familia over the weekend by throwing up an Instagram post dedicated to all the mothers. It included mention of every one of her daughters except noticeably Kendall Jenner was left out. Yeah, Kendall well you aren’t a mother so why would you be included? …Only when you have birthed a child which Kris can make 10% from, then you can get included. Kim Kardashian‘s surrogates about to get more of a shoutout than you are. Put in the work!
Just when you thought the Kardashian/Jenner Koven couldn’t get anymore tacky they go and take this group photo. There is so much going on here like:
– Kris Jenner‘s beat-down, platinum Kate Gosselin-meets-Gwen Stefani wig.
– Her boyfriend Corey Gamble‘s limp-dick-ballsack bowtie version of the vibrant pussy-bow.
– Kim Kardashian West‘s wet-looking gold-lamé+tinsel, half-mermaid Saran-wrap look.
– Kanye West fully falling asleep behind them.
– Kendall Jenner‘s singular slicked-down middle part with a dark-twist/crown of orange feathers.
– Kylie Jenner‘s chambermaid’s sexy nightie and matching synthetic lilac wig straight from MapOfBeauty.
– Travis Scott‘s “we get it you’re straight so you don’t know what a goddamn theme is” half-assed attempt at looking like a well-dressed G.I. Joe action figure.
This is a mess, but what else would we expect?
Back in March, the Koven tried floating around another cheating storyline for Keeping Up The Korrosion Of Decent Society. This one featured new favorite, Kylie Jenner and her man Travis Scott. It was rumored that Travis was stepping to the side with a chick and Kylie had found “evidence” on his phone. The plot line turned out to be a whole lotta nothing. Kris Jenner doesn’t like when her plans fizzle, so there’s another cheating rumor coming up, but this one is being fueled by the alleged side-chick herself.
“Self-made” billionaires can afford all sorts of stupid shit. So Kylie Jenner taking out a billboard to wish Travis Scott, her “husband” (her word) and father of her baby, a happy 28th birthday is nothing. This is like buying a stamp at the post office for her.
Jordyn Woods said recently that dealing with the whole Tristan Thompson/Khloé Kardashian disaster has really awakened her to the truth about the world. Namely, she–a black woman of 21 years of age with, I’m assuming, black friends and family–finally understands what it’s like being a black woman in today’s society… I mean… there were other times… you could have… probably learned that. But hey! Woke is woke, right?