Kat Dennings And Andrew W.K. Are Engaged

Formerly one of 2 Broke Girls, Kat Dennings’ financial situation has already been improved by a sudden influx of additional Marvel bucks, and it looks like her love life is doing as well as her bank account. People reports that Kat is newly engaged to party-anthem rocker Andrew W.K. We only found out they were together about ten days ago so they’ll have to forgive us if we need a few minutes to gather our thoughts and remember who exactly they are.

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“2 Broke Girls” Got Cancelled Before They Could Land Cher

CBS brought the axe down on Two Broke Girls after six seasons, according to TVLine. It’s a shame (for fans of that show and fans of legendary and ageless divas who hate Donald Trump), because they were in talks with Cher to play the mom of Kat Dennings’ character, Max. I only watched that show a couple of times, but it had some truly filthy one-liners, especially for network television. I always wondered if any leftover CBS fan oldies from the Murder She Wrote days ever stumbled upon that show and immediately died from clutching pearls too fast. Continue reading

Kat Dennings And Josh Groban Are Done

Well, this will be sad news for fans of relationships between gorgeous-boobed humans and singers with an X-Men-like ability to remove mommy panties with their voice. E! News says that Kat Dennings and Josh Groban have broken up after almost two years. A source – who may or may not have been Sophie with a couple extra minutes on a prepaid Polish calling card – tells E! that the breakup was “mutual.”

“They are still friends and care about each other, but it’s not the right time for them now as a couple.”

On a happier note, this means Josh Groban is one step closer to reconnecting with his true soulmate: Sweet Dee.

Neither Josh nor Kat have confirmed they recently tossed their love in a wood chipper. Although the last picture of Josh Groban on Kat Denning’s Instagram page is from way back in February, so make of that what you will. But otherwise, nothing else. Where’s the screen-grab of a break-up announcement starting with the words “It is with a heavy heart…” written on an iPhone in the Notes app and posted to Instagram? Did Kat and Josh forget that they’re famous people? Announcing your break up though a “source” is so 2015. I guess neither of them got the famous people memo that 2016 is the year of releasing your very important news with a screen grab from the Notes app.

Pic: Splash

American Treasure Betty White Won A People’s Choice Award And Was Escorted To The Stage By Captain America

I’m sure my 94-year-old neighbor Mrs. Lee saw this tender moment between Betty White and Chris Evans at the 2015 People’s Choice Awards and was like “Oh, that Spider Man – such a gentleman” (because everyone is Spider Man to grandma types).

Because I stopped giving my brain exercise a long time ago, I watched the People’s Choice Awards last night. Or at least as much as my brain could handle, till it began screaming “ENOUGH!!!” and made me change the channel to something more mentally stimulating, like Pick A Puppy. But what I did see was 93-year-old life legend and sassy lil’ slice of lemon meringue pie Betty White accepting the award for Favorite TV Icon (how kind of Bruce Jenner to decline the award and give it to the next in line). Of course, an icon like Betty should never walk anywhere without a hot entourage, so hot hottie Chris Evans popped out of his seat and escorted her to the stage. Not shown: what I assume was at least 50 other dudes behind him fighting over the privilege of offering their arm to one of the Golden Girls.

But it wasn’t all about Betty. How rude, I know. Other people took home awards too, including 2014’s version of Jenna Elfman Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting for Favorite Comedic TV Actress, The Big Bang Theory for Favorite TV Show and Favorite Network TV Comedy, Melissa & Joey for Favorite Cable TV Comedy (wait, WHAT?), Tay Tay Swift and her BFF Ed Sheeran as Favorite Female and Male Artist, and Maleficent for Favorite Movie. Unfortunately, Angelina Jolie couldn’t be there in person to accept her award, because she was too busy working miracles for the Pope in Italy. You can see the whole list of winners is here, if you need that in your life.

Sadly, Betty didn’t walk the red carpet before or after the show (probably because a true icon gives the poor 2s and 3s of the world a moment in the spotlight every once in a while), but everyone else did, so here’s all the famous types from the People’s Choice awards, including Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting wearing some kind of sheer-paneled classy/slutty jumpsuit culottes thing, Anna Faris looking like a fancy Vegas bride, and Kat Dennings working that A+ goth brothel madame game:

Pics: Wenn.com

Oh, It’s Just Miley Cyrus With Her Duct Tape-Covered Chipmunk Chichis Out At The amfAR Gala

“Here they are, y’all! Take a good look, cause you might not get to see ’em for another couple of hours!”

The amfAR Inspiration Los Angeles Gala honoring Tom Ford was held on Wednesday night, and guess who showed up with her tits out? That’s right, everyone’s favorite permanent marker-huffing chipmunk Miley Cyrus! But since the amfAR Gala is some fancy shit, she knew she it would be inappropriate to roll up in a high-cut thong and weed leaf pasties. So instead, she decided to bust open a Sheer Elegance L’eggs, wear them as a shirt, and wrap up her backwoods nipple bits in some black duct tape. Miley is nothing if not a klassy lassy, after all.

THIS is how you do tasteful black tie elegance. Why wear a boring-ass evening gown when you can look like the crazy hillbilly cousin of Leeloo Dallas? Or a slutty futuristic project manager from Blade Runner? Or a waitress at an adults-only murder mystery dinner theater? Or a rejected member of The Black Tape Project (NSFW)? Or a goth figure skater? I could literally go on for hours, but you get the picture. BITCH LOOKS HOT!

And adding to the already dangerously high levels of Appalachian sophistication, Miley brought her gorgeous mom Tish Cyrus as her date. Sadly, Tish didn’t also dress like a slutty BDSM mime; instead, she wore a satin tablecloth and did her hair in a fancy show pony braid. Oh well, next time!

Here’s more of Miley looking like a low-budget Pris Stratton (because you need that in your life), as well as Lea Michele who – SURPRISE SURPRISE – was serving up middle-aged horny cougar realness, Alessandra Ambrosia Salad wearing the Las Vegas showgirl version of Miley’s outfit, and a bunch of boring covered-up hos:

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

Some Beauty And The Geek Shit: Kat Dennings And Josh Groban Are A Thing

Josh Groban has a singing voice that sounds like the echoes of a dozen tenor angels orgasming in a hallowed hall of heaven and he’s funny on Twatter, so I can understand why Kat Dennings is getting on that. Kat Dennings was in Big Momma’s House 2 (the crown jewel of her career!) and her magnificent chichis look like the memory foam clouds that the angels lay their heads on every night in heaven, so I can understand why Josh Groban is getting on that.

At last night’s Carousel of Hope Ball in Beverly Hills, GroNing made their first public appearance as a couple and let everyone know that Earth is now a place where Kat Dennings and Josh Groban are rubbing on each other’s naked bodies. Kat was dating that hot piece Nick Zano as of May, but they’re obviously over. Josh Groban humped on January Jones for a few years and if Kat didn’t know that, she now knows the answer to the question she asked herself the first time she saw his parts: “Why does he have a frostbite scar on the tip of his peen?”

Some source tells UsWeekly that Kat and Josh are brand new and they’re just having fun for right now. Kat Instagramm’d a picture of the two of them last night and threw up the words “I ship it” with it. Josh also Instagramm’d a picture of them and threw up the words “I ship it too” with it. I just shipp’d in my mouth over how syrupy these two love sick whores are being.

And now I have the image of Josh Groban motorboating Kat Dennings’ chichis while singing “You Raise Me Up” as he raises up if you know what I mean.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com