Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott are reportedly having marriage problems. Like, sleeping in separate bedrooms-problems. And the Deaner’s totally disappeared from Tori’s social media. But guess who popped up yesterday? The Game. OK, sure! Tori went out to dinner with the 41-year-old rapper and friend/hairstylist Laura Rugetti and posted the above pic (you bet your ass I cropped out the friend for maximum drama). As you can see, Tori’s hand is under the table, so it’s unclear if she’s wearing her wedding ring/where exactly her hand is placed. Maybe that’s the whole point, to tease us with the unknown. Hey, her dad was Aaron Spelling, weaving drama is in the gal’s blood. It’s just too bad cash isn’t genetic. Continue reading
The Random Couple Generator has been hard at work this week. First, it spit out the names Rita Ora and Taika Waititi (couple name: TitiOra), and now it has spit out the names Paulina Porizkova and Aaron Sorkin (couple name: PorKin). It’s only April but it looks like Closer Magazine may have an IT couple of 2021 because Page Six claims that Paulina Porizkova is humping on Aaron Sorkin and that they’re going to make their public debut at tomorrow night’s Oscars. If Aaron’s doctor hasn’t called him already, they will and they’ll say, “Aaron, I need you to come in right the fuck away, because I just read that you’re doing a 56-year-old woman and a rich and powerful Hollywood dude’s dick should not work for a woman over the age of 25! That’s not healthy. I’m sending in Leonardo DiCaprio. This is an emergency!”
The detectives of the internet have been busy earlier this week, jumping into action after Rita Ora was seen exiting a private jet in Australia with a bunch of famous people. Normally this wouldn’t be a reason to ring the alarm bells, since Rita is rich and doesn’t really care too much about a little thing called COVID-19, so what’s prolonged contact in an enclosed space as you share air with a variety of people you don’t live with, right? And also, because Rita was traveling within Australia, and Australia is doing pretty good, pandemic-wise. People started getting suspicious when they realized she was on a plane with Oscar-winning director Taika Waititi.
Lady Gaga saw Tom Hiddleston’s weird and random commercial for Centrum vitamins and raised him a random pairing with Oreo of all things. Gaga’s last album Chromatica came out in May, but hey, a check is a check, and it’s never too late to milk that album for more cash, and this time she sweetened the milk, added ten loads of preservatives, stuffed it between two “pink” golden cookies, and are selling them with Oreo.
Peacock Apologizes To Selena Gomez For Jokes About Her Kidney Transplant In The “Saved By The Bell” Reboot
Two weird Saved By The Bell-related things happened this week. The first is that the Saved By The Bell sequel/reboot/revival whatever actually got good reviews when some of us thought it was going to be shittier than the Dirty Sanchez in Screech’s eyeball-and-nose-destroying sex tape. The other thing is that the writers of the Saved By The Bell reboot have shown themselves to be obsessors of Selena Gomez’s kidney transplant (that fetish is a new one) because in one episode, they bring it up more than once. And after Selena’s fans threw shit at Peacock, they have apologized.
Simon Rex Says He Was Offered $70,000 By A British Tabloid To Lie About Hooking Up With Meghan Markle
The name Simon Rex takes me back to a frustrating moment in the 90s when a teenage me learned that a hot new MTV VJ named Simon Rex did gay porn. So of course, me, being hard up for anything gay, used our dial-up (which was run by a sedated snail on a rusty treadmill) to download Simon Rex’s gay porn from Napster, or some shit. And I’m giving you a low estimate when I say that it took 80 hours to download a 45-second clip (and that’s partly thanks to my sister fucking shit up for me by constantly having to use the phone). When I finally opened up that clip, I dropped the lotion and waved my fist in the air while cursing the lie-telling evil pieces of trash who told me it was gay porn. It wasn’t gay porn! It was just jack off porn! Yes, I still fapped to it, but I fapped through angry gritted teeth.
Well, Simon Rex’s jack off porn past is back in the news again thanks to a story he told on a podcast called Hollywood Raw (which surprisingly isn’t a podcast devoted to porn starring celebrities). Simon claimed that one big British tabloid offered him a ton of money to lie and say he hooked up with Meghan Markle, and probably because that tabloid couldn’t wait to use the headline: Royal Blue Waffle! THE QUEEN Orders Meghan Markle’s Tramp Ass To Get An STD Test After Finding Out She Hooked Up With A Bareback Gay Porn Star!!!!