Kim Kardashian Returned To California And Left Kanye In Wyoming To Continue His Presidential Campaign With The Unwitting Help Of Kirsten Dunst

I’ve heard that the kickoff for the Birthday Party National Convention has been delayed because somebody is taking a giant shit in there right now and still has the key (it’s being held in the men’s room at an ARCO just off I-25 outside of Cody, Wyoming). So we don’t currently have any more information about Kanye West’s presidential platform or plans for America other than possibly replacing the USPS with Christian TikTok videos? What little we do have to go on is …confusing. According to Billboard, Kanye released some new campaign materials on Twitter and despite graphic design being his passion, it’s a little hard to make out it’s meaning. Kanye shared a campaign poster featuring images of Anna Wintour, Kirsten Dunst, and others, prompting Kiki to ask what we’re all thinking— “What’s the message here, and why am I a part of it??”

Here’s Kanye’s vision for 2020. TW: It’s disturbingly toothy.

What’s the message here, and why am I apart of it? 🤷🏼‍♀️

— Kirsten Dunst (@kirstendunst) August 20, 2020

Billboard says the picture he used is from a 2002 Vanity Fair profile. Sorry Kiki, looks you’re getting a cabinet position whether you like it or not. Quick now, Treasury or State? Anna’s getting HUD so that’s already taken. Here’s the crack team top-flight white people you’ll be working with. Let Kanye know if you’d prefer Subway, Kirk Cameron’s getting that.

THIS IS A GOD DREAM pic.twitter.com/e1Wkui3ULj

— ye (@kanyewest) August 19, 2020

While Kirsten decides her fate, the possible future First Lady has returned to Los Angeles with the possible future First Kids and left Kanye in Wyoming where he’d like to live permanently, according to People. Kim was there participating in Kanye’s most recent Sunday Service, possibly to ensure all the cult robes got picked up from dry cleaning on time for the show. Sadly, even though he’s campaigning to become the head of the Executive Branch of the United States government, Kanye’s executive skills are somewhat lacking.

Kim Kardashian has returned to Los Angeles with her four children as husband Kanye West remains in Wyoming.

They had been vacationing together as a family since Aug. 2 but separated once again on Sunday night, as Kardashian and three of their kids (Saint, 4, Chicago, 2, and 15-month-old Psalm) flew home, a source tells PEOPLE. North, 7, spent time with her dad in Cody before reuniting with her mom and siblings.

The source says Wyoming “is where he wants to live.” As for his wife? Kardashian, 39, “is happy to be back” in L.A., the source says. “It’s hard traveling with the kids for such a long time.”

The source continues: “Kim still seems focused on making her marriage work. She is pretty quiet about her exact plans for the future, but for now she seems okay with Kanye living in Wyoming. He is moving ahead with the presidential campaign. This is a decision that no one can change his mind about.”

So, just like her role model Melania Trump, Kim is standing by her man even if every cell in her body is telling her to run because there might be something in it for her down the line. #FirstLadyGoals. According to Us Weekly, she even kissed him.

“WE’RE STEPPING OUT ON FAITH,” the 43-year-old rapper tweeted on Wednesday, August 19, alongside a video from a recent Sunday Service event. In the brief clip, the 39-year-old Keeping Up With the Kardashians star is seen running to her husband’s side for an embrace and a quick kiss.

WE’RE STEPPING OUT ON FAITH pic.twitter.com/Ak1sJmPz0o

— ye (@kanyewest) August 19, 2020

See, this is what happens if you don’t wait right outside the door. In the time Kanye took to set up this shot, three different people have taken dumps or masturbated in that ARCO bathroom. The Birthday Party Convention’s never going to start at this rate!

Pic: Instagram