Category: Justin Timberlake
Prince REALLY Didn’t Like Justin Timberlake
When future Vegas residency Justin Timberlake made comas look entertaining during the Superbowl this year, he took a moment to pay homage to dearly departed halftime legend and sexy-motherfucker-even-in-death Prince. His “homage” was tacky bullshit, though, and was obviously just an attempt to spit on Prince’s purple paisley genderbended mausoleum urn because he’s pressed that Prince was everything and he’s the kind of person who allowed mockery of homeless people at his wedding. He’s also probably irritated because Prince thought he was beneath his purple contempt. Especially when it came to having to share a bathroom with him. It’s true, his Royal Badness had to share a bathroom with Justin Timberlake one time and he was displeased over it. Hopefully the people involved in that decision received a lifetime ban from Paisley Park. Continue reading
Justin Timberlake Probably Boinked Baby Spice Back In The Day
Back when LiveJournal was a thing, you either went on there to bitch about how mean people were to you during your night shift at Applebee’s (reverse Yelp!) or to write fanfiction on weird shit…like if Jack had lived from Titanic…or if Ginger Spice didn’t leave the band. The best was when you’d see people writing filthy shit about boy band/girl band canoodling, so you’re in luck if you were looking for an *NSYNC/Spice Girls hook-up story. Continue reading
*NSYNC Got Their Star On The Hollywood Walk Of Fame Today, And Justin Timberlake Actually Showed Up
While that may look like a group of middle-aged dorks visiting the Hollywood Walk of Fame star of their favorite actor, Adam Sandler, before going to party at 4pm at Dave & Buster’s, it’s actually middle-age-ish dorks getting their Hollywood Walk of Fame star today. If me Googling “How can I relieve my sciatica pain?” didn’t confirm to me that we all get old, this picture of *NSYNC did.
Like all of us, *NSYNC’s fans are getting old, but thousands of them still pulled their IcyHot-slathered limbs out of bed at the hour of the dead this morning to camp out in Hollywood to see Chris Kirkpatrick (looking like Guy Fieri’s #1 fan), Lance Bass (looking like a South Florida realtor), JC Chasez (looking like the country’s least popular Vincent Vega impersonator), Joey Fatone (looking extra DILF-ey, you can judge me for that), and Justin Timberlake (looking like a ~hip~ preacher of a new age church).
Cheryl And Liam Payne Responded To The Break-Up Rumors By Doing The BRIT Awards Together
Nothing sells tabloids in England like transcripts of a wire-tapped phone conversation of the Royal Family or Cheryl Cole breakup rumors (what will her next last name be?!), but the latest round of relationship-on-the-rocks reports may be false…or at least not ready to be announced until some financial settlement is made. Cheryl was rumored to be in “crisis talks” with the father of her baby Liam Payne, and it wasn’t just a crisis of some of the fug fashion he rocks on Instagram. While the word was they were oh-so-close to breaking up, they both arrived to the red carpet of the BRIT Awards tonight in London looking like their usual Mrs. Robinson-and-boytoy selves. Continue reading
Prince On A Wrinkly Ass Bed Sheet?! You Really Did It This Time, Timberlake!
Joey Fatone wasn’t lying when he said that NSYNC was not going to inject some hotness (don’t act like Joey Fatone thrusting his crotch ain’t the epitome of hotness) into the Super Bowl halftime show. Janet Jackson wasn’t lying when she said that she was not going to save the Super Bowl halftime show by popping up on the stage to pull a front panel on Justin Timberlake’s pants and reveal his pierced right nut. Sheila E wasn’t lying when she said that there would not be a Prince hologram during the Super Bowl halftime show. There wasn’t a Prince hologram, but there was a blurry ass Prince projection on a giant wrinkly sheet.
Janet Jackson Made It Clear That She’s Not Performing At The Super Bowl Today
Janet Jackson doesn’t have time for mess. She especially doesn’t have time for the gawky turd who betrayed her and caused her to be blackballed from the entertainment industry! 2004’s Super Bowl halftime show featured a guest appearance by Ms. Jackson’s nipple and the world lost its shit. Whether is was a “wardrobe malfunction” as stated or a deliberate attempt to titillate America, it was a misfire. A misfire along the lines of the Hindenberg Disaster, New Coke, and our last presidential election.
Justin Timberlake returns to the Super Bowl today as the halftime show, and Ms. Jackson wouldn’t set foot in U.S. Bank Stadium if her life depended on it! Continue reading