Last Thursday, Paisley Park, the Purple One’s home, spiritual center and recording studio, opened up as a museum dedicated to all things Prince. Prince’s sister Tyka Nelson said that before his sexy spirit left his sexy body, he had been working on turning Paisley Park into a Graceland-like museum. That wish has come true and now the disciples of Jehovah’s Sexiest Witness can pay to tour the Minnesota palace where he lived and died in. And just like Elvis at Graceland, Prince’s remains are at Paisley Park.
Prince’s ashes are kept in a custom urn that was co-designed by Tyka and her son President Nelson. (Yes, her son’s name is President. If he ever becomes POTUS, we’ll all become stuttering bitches because we’ll have to call him President President Nelson.)
People says that Tyka and President worked with the urn artistes at Foreverence to create a ceramic and glass model of Paisley Park with Prince’s bejeweled symbol in front of it. Prince’s sexy ashes are in the front column. The back part, which can’t be seen by public eyes, opens up to reveal a miniature replica of Paisley Park’s atrium, complete with Prince’s purple piano. Here’s a short video of the inside of Prince’s urn:
Okay, with all due respect to Tyka and President, I didn’t ever expect Prince’s urn to look like a Paisley Park playset made with Legos. Where is the drama? Where is the glamour? Where is the sexiness? I’m just going to assume that all of the drama, glamour and sexiness is in the room where the urn is kept. When you walk in, you look up to see three giant rhinestone-encrusted doves crying out streams of purple glitter all over you and when you look across the room at the urn, you see holograms of Prince’s muses dancing around it. And when you stay too long, a Prince impersonator throws you a side-eyes that burns into your face and tells you to get out while pushing you toward the door. Just let me believe that’s what Prince’s final resting place is like.