Jennifer Lopez is the under-the-radar Madge, sucking the life out of the musical youth to preserve her taut skin and perky chi-chis. She had a go at the Booty single with Iggy Azalea and then had Dinero with Cardi B. I guess that wasn’t enough because now JLo is starring in Hustlers, a movie about strippers who get revenge on their Wall Street clients. Cardi B has also signed on. Honestly, I rolled my eyes at this, but Ocean’s 8 with more thong and less Cate Blanchett mop wig sounds perfect.
Page Six is reporting that A-Rod knows what he’s about to get into. Sources have been talking and they’re saying that A-Rod has been told that JLo is Jenny From The Block if the block is on High Maintenance Street. But yet, A-Rod still put a ring on it because he is going to do JLo right and not “mess her around.” As opposed to his other relationships, who were lower maintenance so it was like, “Yeah, go ahead and mess around, girl!”
Jose Canseco’s Ex-Wife Denies Ever Sleeping With Alex Rodriguez (But Alex Rodriquez’s Ex May Think Otherwise)
Alex Rodriguez and Jose Canseco are now involved in both the 3rd and 4th biggest baseball cheating scandals in the history of baseball. The ranking goes:
#1 – The 1919 White Sox.
#2 – That time Phillie Phanatic came up pregnant with Gritty’s baby.
#3 – The BALCO doping scandal.
#4 – This whole mess.
And two new players just ran onto the field. Jose’s ex-wife Jessica Canseco had to reinstall Twitter on her phone in order to clear her name after Jose accused her of having an affair with Jennifer Lopez’s fiance Alex. And Alex’s ex-girlfriend Torrie Wilson has been quietly subtweeting the drama and insinuating that Alex is indeed a ho, and that maybe Jose is on to something.
While malevolent forces are really out here trying to sour Jennifer Lopez‘s recent engagement to former baseball player, Alex Rodriguez, she is not going to let them. Yes, Jennifer has seen all of the (incredibly fast appearing) cheating rumors which began spreading from Jose Canseco‘s Twitter account and has now begun taking new life. And she apparently doesn’t care.
It’s been about 30 minutes since Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez got engaged, but SURPRISE: we already have our first cheating rumor. Damn girl, that was fast. At this rate she’ll be pregnant by noon and they’ll be divorced by midnight. It’ll be a new record! Jennifer Lopez is a true star: breaking musical records and also divorce records. Continue reading
Motown legend Jennifer Lopez and her “twin soul”, noted egomaniac Alex Rodriguez, are now betrothed. For real this time. A-Rod threw up a pic of JLo’s hand adorned with a suprisingly understated, almost a trinket of a diamond engagement ring on his Instagram last night labeled “she said yes.” Of course she said yes. Who could say no to a conversation piece engagement ring with a stone the size of their combined egos?