Category: Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow’s “Wellness Routine” Is Called Out By Health Professionals For Sounding Like An Gateway Into Eating Disorders
Welp–another day, another expert suggesting that you should not listen to Gwyneth Paltrow‘s life advice. Currently, the 50-year-old Goop Cult Leader is pushing a “wellness routine” that has eating disorder specialists going: “Pause!” saying that her diet is not giving her enough energy for a living human. But have they considered that Gwyneth fuels her body nutrition via her overt uppity pretentiousness?
Open Post: Hosted By Gwyneth Paltrow Saying That Rectal Ozone Therapy Is The Weirdest Wellness Thing She’s Done
Since starting Goop in 2008, Gwyneth Paltrow aimed to share ways to “nourish the inner aspect” through unconventional and expensive wellness fads and lifestyle items with other wildly pretentious people, and also to turn a profit, obviously. So, she’s tried a lot of things over the years, but while guesting on The Art of Being Well, she shared that the strangest wellness thing she’s ever tried is rectal ozone therapy, which is when ozone gas is pumped right into your fart-box. Though the FDA warns against it, Gwyneth (and others who also aren’t qualified to give medical advice) claim it has many benefits.
Open Post: Hosted By Gwyneth Paltrow Letting Us Know That She Still Has A Dress She Wore On A Date With Brad Pitt Almost Thirty Years Ago
We all know Gwyneth Paltrow is the self-professed Queen of organic wares that could potentially burn your house down, but did you also know she has a soft spot for nostalgia as well? For example, there are some people who remember a time when she and Brad Pitt looked like they were about to be each other’s forever loves. Unfortunately, they couldn’t stay together and moved on to other relationships that failed as miserably as theirs did. However, in the spirit of holding onto beautiful memories (and mothball-protected garments), Gwyneth revealed she still owns a dress she wore to a movie premiere with Brad. And she took her thirsty GOOP coven on a trip through her closet to proudly show off all of her 90s fashion keepsakes.
Apple Martin Made Her Debut As A “Chanel Girl” At Paris Fashion Week
In the year of our Lord 2008, the late Karl Lagerfeld met 4-year-old Apple Martin, the blessed daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. At that meeting, the prophet Karl declared that, one day, the baby Apple would grow up to be a Chanel girl. Yesterday, Karl’s prediction came true. People reports that 18-year-old Apple made her Paris Fashion Week debut in head-to-toe Chanel, sitting front row of the fashion house’s haute couture show. Somewhere, deep in the rankest depths of hell, Karl weeps. “It came true! It came true!” His moment of triumph is interrupted by a smack in the head by Satan himself: “Quit crying and get back to work, bitch! This lap ain’t gonna dance on itself…”
Kim Kardashian Said She Wants To Get Married Again During An Interview On The Goop Podcast
It’s always a fun time when two of the world’s foremost nepo babies of privilege can get together for a little chat about love, life, and whatever else they tend to discuss. As always, Gwyneth Paltrow is leaning on one of her rich and uninteresting friends to appear on her GOOP podcast. This time she invited Kim Kardashian, who has been making her podcast rounds as of late because attention is her best friend. And although Kim’s face is slowly morphing into Cher’s her real icon must be Elizabeth Taylor because Kim admits even after her doomed marriage to Kanye West, she’s taking a few years off before heading down the aisle for the fourth time.
Open Post: Hosted By Gwyneth Paltrow Trolling Martha Stewart In A Goop Gift Guide Promo
Gwyneth Paltrow and Martha Stewart have been busting each other’s Baccarat balls for the last eight years after Martha basically said that the self-proclaimed guru of everything, Gwyneth, should shut her white sturgeon caviar-hole, stick to acting, and stop trying to be Martha Stewart. But Gwyneth never gave up on her dream, and just like every other year she shat out her Goop guide earlier this month. Despite the fact that no one actually uses the gift guide to guide their gift buying and only peruses it to have a quick laugh, Gwyneth spent money on a name-droppy promo (with a Cameron Diaz cameo) to remind everyone that the holidays are quickly approaching and she’s still not ready to let go of Martha’s past reads.