Category: Dark-Sided Stuff
A Christian Mom Warned Parents That Watching “Hocus Pocus 2” Could “Unleash Hell On Your Kids”
A Texas mom (a phrase which to me, reads as ominously as “Florida man”) has chosen Disney+’s Hocus Pocus 2 as the vehicle to ensure that she and her family will get to park their sanctimonious asses in their favorite pew indefinitely since church attendance is presumably down due to the increasingly hard-to-defend buffoonery of modern-day Christian fundies. Jamie Gooch (yes, GOOCH) recently shat out a long Facebook post that’s gone viral for warning parents against allowing Hocus Pocus 2 into their homes and also appeared on a news station to spread the word further.
Ezra Miller Posted A Cryptic Message Directed At The Ku Klux Klan On Instagram
Kevin can wait! We need to talk about Ezra. You can’t take your eye off of Flash star Ezra Miller for even a second without them getting into something perplexing and dark-sided. And I’m not just talking about Justice League. Or the bathroom at the Met Gala. Or the Fantastic Beasts franchise. Or choking a woman in a bar in Reykjavik, Iceland. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Ezra recently posted a video message to Instagram addressed to the Beulaville, North Carolina chapter of the Ku Klux Klan suggesting that they kill themselves with their own guns. While it’s a relief to know Ezra’s anti-KKK, by not providing any context for their video, the viewer is left with many open-ended questions. The least of all being, a middle part? In this economy?!
The “Controlling Britney Spears” Documentary Claims That Britney Spears’ Conservators Tapped Her Phone And Bugged Her Bedroom
Controlling Britney Spears is the follow-up to FX and Hulu’s documentary The New York Times Presents Framing Britney Spears, which came out earlier this year. It’s not to be confused with Netflix’s upcoming Brit Brit doc, Britney Vs Spears, or CNN’s Toxic: Britney Spears’ Battle For Freedom. Basically, everything’s coming up Britney…. documentaries. Controlling Britney Spears was released on Friday, and in it, it’s alleged that her dad/conservator, Jamie Spears, busted out a creepier and more fucked-up version of Every Breath You Take by mirroring her phone and bugging her house so he knew her every move. Cut to that eavesdropping busybody Alexa, looking at Daddy Spears like, “What a creepy fuck, you are!”
Lamar Odom Might Have Been Kidnapped, Depending On Who You Talk To
Former Kardashian husband Lamar Odom may be involved in a kidnapping plot involving guns and gambling. Or, if you ask Lamar’s manager, it involves Lamar Odom and absolutely no one, because there was no gambling debt-gone-wrong kidnapping plot. Nothing to see here, folks – just Lamar living his life, and we all know there’s no cause for alarm there. Oh, wait.
Stormy Daniels Just Had To Go And Ruin Mario Kart For Everyone
When it comes time for us gays to be thrown into the camps, Jabba the Trump better give me the middle bunk between Ricky Martin and his hot piece of a husband for copy and pasting a Mario Kart Mushroom that is six times bigger than what Stormy Daniels claims he’s working with for real.
“Mario Kart” has been trending all day today, and at first I figured it was because there’s a new game, or it’s the anniversary of that shit, or maybe Super Mario was killed off in a tragic kart accident. It’s a billion times worse than the last one. “Where were you the day you clicked on Mario Kart on Twitter” is the moment that will haunt us all thanks to Stormy Daniels’ evil ass.
Disney Got Dark With A “Dead Inside” Pinocchio Tweet
Apparently, the terminally upbeat folks at Disney aren’t immune to lure of the dark, gaping chasm of despair that is the hallmark of #thesetryingtimes. Leave it to 2018 to harsh Mickey’s buzz so hard he starts posting dank memes about being dead inside.