Category: Religious News

A Christian Mom Warned Parents That Watching “Hocus Pocus 2” Could “Unleash Hell On Your Kids”

October 6, 2022 / Posted by:

A Texas mom (a phrase which to me, reads as ominously as “Florida man”) has chosen Disney+’s Hocus Pocus 2 as the vehicle to ensure that she and her family will get to park their sanctimonious asses in their favorite pew indefinitely since church attendance is presumably down due to the increasingly hard-to-defend buffoonery of modern-day Christian fundies. Jamie Gooch (yes, GOOCH) recently shat out a long Facebook post that’s gone viral for warning parents against allowing Hocus Pocus 2 into their homes and also appeared on a news station to spread the word further.

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Beyonce Announces That A New Album Is Upon Us

June 16, 2022 / Posted by:

You definitely already know this news because I’m sure you were woken up in the middle of the night by an extremely loud buzzing alarm and you thought it was the end of the world. But please, this is BIGGER news. It was from the Beyhive ringing the alarm that their lord, savior, and the reason why they were given the sense of hearing (to hear Beyonce with) and the sense of sight (to see Beyonce with) is back! Seen above in a candid shot from British Vogue of her casually riding into Sunday brunch, Beyonce announced that her seventh studio album, Renaissance, will drop from the heavens on July 29. That day was supposed to be National Lasagna Day, and I say “was supposed to be” because all the holidays on that day have been wiped away to make room for International Beyonaissance Day! Sorry, Garfield.

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