50 Cent Threatens To Quit “Power” Over Its Lack Of Golden Globe Nomination
The nominations for the 2017 Golden Globes were announced yesterday. Of course, some television shows, movies, actors, and actresses didn’t make the list, and that’s bound to make some people mad. 50 Cent, for example, is really pissed off that Power, the Starz show he executive produces and co-stars on, was left out of the category for Best Television Series, Drama. Some people get their anger out by screaming into a pillow. 50 Cent’s pillow is Instagram, and so he threw his tantrum there.
GASP! Brad Pitt Has Accused Angelina Jolie Side Of Exposing Shit About Their Custody Fight
Saints don’t go caca, so when I said “shit,” I meant the details of their never-ending custody battle.
Brad Pitt’s legal team tried and failed to get a judge to seal all documents related to his custody war with Angelina Jolie. Brad wanted all documents sealed after everyone found out that he has to get drug tested 4 times a month and that his visits with the child army are monitored by a therapist. Those details came out after Angie’s side filed their temporary custody agreement with the court, which made it public. Angie’s side did that because Brad was going to ask the court for more non-therapeutic visits with the kids.
The Daily Mail has more on this, including the part where Brad’s lawyer basically said that the dirty game that diabolical Angie is playing is going to hurt the kids. By the way, that picture above is of Angie making her diabolical saint face.
Now For The Time Jenny Slate Pooped Her Pants On Purpose
It looks like those two dudes behind Jenny Slate know something we don’t (and it wouldn’t be hard to know since she’s wearing the color of poop’s natural enemy). But that’s not the case since Jenny’s poop story isn’t a recent one.
Open Post: Hosted By Andy Cohen Kissing Sting
I don’t have it that bad for Sting and yet, I’m questioning my job-choosing decisions. I should’ve tried to be a basic cable talk show host/Housewives pimp instead of a bitter blogger.
King and queen of the swingers scene, Sting and his wife Trudie Styler, were on Watch What Happens Live last night and they got into a game of Spin The Message In A Bottle with Andy Cohen. The rules were that they each had to spin a bottle before they were asked a question. If they didn’t want to answer the quetion, they had to kiss whoever the bottle landed on. If the bottle landed on themselves, they got to choose who to kiss.
Oh, Andy! That G-rated slumber party shit is a game that Jimmy Fallon would play! You’re on basic cable AND you’ve got those two kinky bitches in front of you. Andy should’ve told Trudie and Sting to clear their schedules for the rest of the week, because every time they didn’t want to answer a question, they would have to have 8-hour-long tantric fuck times with whoever the bottle was pointing at.
Piers Morgan Says He’s “Skeptical” That Lady Gaga Has PTSD, Lady Gaga Slaps Back
Piers Morgan’s restless troll syndrome acted up again recently when he decided to start shit with Lady Gaga and Madonna. Piers probably thought he was safe from any retaliation, since Lady Gaga and Madonna are automatically programmed to come for each other in the event they’re both dragged into something. But that didn’t happen.
Piers ended up on Lady Gaga’s shit list over tweets he made about her and Madonna’s rape accusations and also her PTSD claims. And Lady Gaga’s talons are firmly aimed at Piers.
IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS: Prince Hot Ginge And Meghan Markle Went Christmas Tree Shopping
Believe it or not, but when Prince Hot Ginge wants a Christmas tree, he doesn’t command his henchmen to gallop deep into the forest, find the most majestic fir tree and evict all of the woodland creatures from it (by order of the ginger prince!) before cutting it down and bringing it back to the palace. PHG shops for a Christmas tree like a regular, because he’s real like that.