Open Post: Hosted By Andy Cohen Kissing Sting

December 13, 2016 / Posted by:

I don’t have it that bad for Sting and yet, I’m questioning my job-choosing decisions. I should’ve tried to be a basic cable talk show host/Housewives pimp instead of a bitter blogger.

King and queen of the swingers scene, Sting and his wife Trudie Styler, were on Watch What Happens Live last night and they got into a game of Spin The Message In A Bottle with Andy Cohen. The rules were that they each had to spin a bottle before they were asked a question. If they didn’t want to answer the quetion, they had to kiss whoever the bottle landed on. If the bottle landed on themselves, they got to choose who to kiss.

Oh, Andy! That G-rated slumber party shit is a game that Jimmy Fallon would play! You’re on basic cable AND you’ve got those two kinky bitches in front of you. Andy should’ve told Trudie and Sting to clear their schedules for the rest of the week, because every time they didn’t want to answer a question, they would have to have 8-hour-long tantric fuck times with whoever the bottle was pointing at.

Andy ended up making dry mouth love with Trudie twice and got to kiss Sting once, but well…. skip to the 2:40 mark to watch that Price is Right losing horn of a peck.

Angelina Jolie kissed her own brother with more passion! That’s actually not a fair comparison since nobody has kissed with as much passion as Angie kissed her brother.

Boston University needs to immediately revoke Andy’s B.A. in broadcast journalism, because he once again failed at being a serious journalist. Andy obviously didn’t do any research on Sting’s tantric ways before last night’s interview, because he did, he would’ve learned that this is how you kiss tantric-style:

In a loving face-to-face Maithuna/intercourse position with Lingam inserted into Yoni, lock lips, eye-gaze and take turns inhaling and exhaling alternately. Share the deep level of intimacy and feel your lover’s sexual breath enter your body and spirit.

I didn’t see any eye-gazing! I didn’t see any sexual breaths entering bodies! And I really didn’t see any Lingams inserting into Yonis! Call Sting an Uber and get him back to the WWHL clubhouse, because the viewers were cheated and deserve to see Lingam-in-Yoni action! (Or since neither of them have a Yoni, Lingham-In-Rosetta action!)

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