Billy Porter and Stephen Stills’ green screen extravaganza of a DNC performance!

Last night was night one of the Democratic National Convention, which went virtual this year, and while all the spotlights and eyes were on the night’s headliner Michelle Obama, Billy Porter and Stephen Stills also brought some star power to the grand finale. The two-time Hot Slut of the Month (I know, it is WRONG that Billy Porter is always a Hot Slut of the Month and never a Hot Slut of the Year) sang out Buffalo Springfield’s protest anthem For What It’s Worth in front of pictures from Black Lives Matters protests while done up like a cross between the preacher of a church for gay pilgrims and the true Supreme of American Horror Story: Coven. Some on Twitter called Billy’s performance “extra,” and those “some” need to be educated on the important subject of Billy Porter because if it’s not extra, it’s not a Billy Porter production.

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And in “I didn’t know this was perfect until it happened” news, Elizabeth Debicki will play 90s era Princess Diana in the final seasons of The Crown. Elizabeth Debicki is 6’3″ and Princess Diana was 5’10”, so unless they cast a fellow tall as Prince Charles, who is also 5’10”, casting directors better ask potential Chucks to strut their shit in five-inch heels during their audition. And this is good news for Princess Diana too because now she can temporarily stop rolling in her grave over the news that Kristen Stewart of all fucking people is playing her in a biopic – Celebitchy

Ana de Armas gifted Ben Affleck with a custom-made BMW motorcycle for his 48th birthday, and of course, they took it for a little spin on the pap highway. And while driving it, Ben didn’t stand up on the bike, then get down on one knee before presenting Ana with an engagement ring as the bike zipped by the paps. I know, they’re slipping! – Lainey Gossip 

Chrissy Teigen unknowingly starred in a reboot of I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant when she had her silicone titty bags removed while not knowing that she had a womb full of fetus – SOW

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After calling coronavirus “the great equalizer,” Madonna seems intent on making that a reality by trying to give as many people as possible the chance to develop COVID-19 antibodies, like she allegedly has, if they are lucky enough not to die first. You can’t tell Madonna shit. Madonna gwan do what she wants and that includes packing up her entire entourage and flying to Jamaica to celebrate her 62nd birthday as if Satan himself hadn’t bukaked the entire face of the planet with his white hot COVID-19 spunk. Despite the CDC’s current recommendation that “travelers avoid all nonessential international travel to Jamaica,” Madonna said fuck it (again), and jetted off to visit Chet Hanks’ spiritual homeland with her 25-year-old boyfriend Ahlamalik Williams, her slightly younger daughter Lourdes and 7-year-old twins Stelle and Estere.

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This photo might seem like just a regular old picture of Amber Heard. But it turns out this photo could be used by psychologists as an updated version of those “What do you see first?” personality tests. For example, was the first thing you saw Amber’s nipple? If so, then you might be the type of person who jumped on Twitter and called her out for showing up to a Turkish mosque with visible nips. Was her hair the first thing you noticed? Well, you too might be the type of person who would call her out on Twitter as well. And according to The Daily Mail, that’s exactly what happened after Amber Instagrammed some pictures from her mosque visit.

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And now for some adorable animals to dull your Monday miseries! Look! It’s bears! *Baby* bears. Swimming and playing. In a blow up kiddie pool. Sigh. I hope this does it for you, because it’s the very best we got. The clip, filmed in South Lake Tahoe, California, shows two rambunctious cubs cooling off in a family’s backyard pool. They’re rasslin’, swimmin’, chasin’, and splashin’ around. Eventually one of them runs out of the pool and up a tree before both run out of frame. Continue reading