It’s been a minute since Whoopi Goldberg was on The View, and that’s because she had a pneumonia so bad that she was basically staring the Grim Reaper in the face. I guess Death decided if Whoopi can hold a day job with those hyenas on the panel, pneumonia sure as shit isn’t going to be what brings her down. She’s on the mend and even dropped by the show today to kind of announce her return, if you can manage to hear it through Meghan McCain’s war whooping.
There are few things more American than the enduring tradition of daytime talk show Halloween hi-jinks. You take a bunch of middle-aged talking heads, a squad of professional makeup artists and costume designers, and a squealing studio audience; put ‘em in a pop culture blender on puree and voila! Whoopi Goldberg dressed as a purple baby vampire. And there’s no getting out of it at this point. It’s a whole thing now, everybody must participate. Do you think Ryan Seacrest enjoys sitting in a makeup chair for three hours and getting cinched up in a corset? I don’t know his life! But he does it whether he likes it or not.
Much like half of our fair country, the producers of The View are not pro-President Sexist-Egotistical-Lying-Hypocritical-Bigot. (I’m speaking of Dabney Colemen of course.) How do we know this? It’s because they’ve supplemented conservative host Meghan McCain (who loathes President Trump and the White House for constantly shitting on her father, Senator John McCain) with ANOTHER conservative host who happens to hate Trump. Her name is Abby Huntsman and, get this, she’s coming over from Fox News!
The View hasn’t had a good brawl since Whoopi Goldberg battled intelligence with that “rape rape” comment. Joy Behar and Meghan McCain were generous enough to give the viewing audience an exciting callback to the “Rosie O’Donnell prepping to devour Elisabeth Hasselbeck“-era by throwing down on Friday’s episode.
The View has always sort of been like the Bermuda Triangle of daytime talk shows. Every year, a co-host will find themselves wondering why their nameplate is no longer on their dressing room door and wondering where all their stuff went before they’re escorted out of the studio by building security, never to be heard from again. It was rumored last week that political TV person and Senator’s daughter Meghan McCain would be the latest famous butt to fill a seat at The View table left vacant by Jedediah Bila.