Category: Jaden Smith

It’s Time To Leave This Planet And Get Into The Otherworldly Minds Of Willow And Jaden Smith

August 30, 2016 / Posted by:

If you were planning on spending the rest of your day skipping along higher planes of consciousness after doing shrooms laced with PCP, you’re in luck. You can save those PCP-kissed shrooms for another day, because a new Willow and Jaden Smith interview is out, and reading their words will make you feel like you’re slow dancing with L. Ron Hubbard to a P.M. Dawn song on the rings of Saturn. But just like shrooms laced with PCP, you may have to schedule in time to deal with the comedown.

Jaden is on Baz Luhrmann’s Netflix show The Get Down, and sure he could promote that, but instead, he and Willow promoted their *~thoughts~* on things. Pharrell Williams talked to the human form of a 90s ying and yang necklace for Interview Magazine, and just like their other interviews, it’s a PSA on what happens when you mix together two young minds, Scientology, not much parental guidance and a shit load of money.

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Who Worked It Better?

August 29, 2016 / Posted by:

I know it’s redundant of me to even ask, because we all know that Sue Ellen Mischke from Seinfeld has, is, and forever will always work the bra-under-a-blazer look the best. But Amber Rose is coming in a very close second. We all know that Amber Rose has a habit of bringing ten tons of jaw-dropping eleganza to the MTV VMAs. Sometimes she goes straight-up stripper, other times she keeps it a little more demure. This year she went tasteful and sophisticated with just a hint of “Oh, these?

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So, It Doesn’t Look Like Jared Leto Is Going To Get That Second Oscar For “Suicide Squad”

August 2, 2016 / Posted by:

As everyone knows from the stories and stories about highly esteemed thespian Jared Leto going full method to play The Joker in Suicide Squad, highly esteemed thespian Jared Leto went full method to play The Joker in Suicide Squad. Jared spent time with mental patients who had been institutionalized and tried to freak out his co-stars by sending them all sorts of *~OhSoCraZy~* presents like a live rat, bullets, a dead hog, butt beads, condoms full of cum, etc…etc… But well, a ton of reviews are out and some critics think that Jared beat a hog to death with cum-filled condoms (that’s how the hog died, right?) for NOTHING, because The Joker is hardly in Suicide Squad and he hardly comes close to topping Heath Ledger’s Joker.

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Will Smith Admits That “Wild Wild West” Was Really Really Crappy

June 22, 2016 / Posted by:

Based on the fact that he’s one of the highest-paid actors in the world and that his children talk like out-of-touch alien billionaires, Will Smith seems like the kind of rich I can only imagine about being. I picture him doing ultra-decadent shit, like delivering messages to Jada by hiring a skywriter (“We need more paper towels“). Apparently getting mega-rich off of shitty blockbusters that turned him into a massive star was one of Will Smith’s goals. But not anymore. Will spoke at the Cannes Lions festival yesterday about his career, and he says it’s all about the ~art~ now.

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I Guess That Pretty Much Answers The Question: “Is Kerry Washington Pregnant”

May 3, 2016 / Posted by:

When two sources “confirmed” that Kerry Washington had another baby growing in her belly yesterday, I made a joke that Kerry would confirm it herself by posing on the red carpet of the Met Gala with her hand placed on her stomach. And last night Kerry Washington hit the Met Gala red carpet with her hand on her stomach. Although I almost didn’t notice that hand because I was too distracted by that purple hair. Mon Dieu (splashes self with holy water), that hair! I am so conflicted. It’s not permanent (Instagram tells me that those are extensions), so that’s good. It sort of looks like the kind of fake hair you’d find on the floor of the Rock of Love Bus, which makes me want to pour myself a hot mug of penicillin. On the other hand, it looks like it was found on the floor of the Rock of Love Bus, which means it’s 100% pure fake hair perfection.

I’ve known some pregnant people, and one thing I’ve gleaned is that sometimes being knocked up makes you do some crazy things. Case in point: the gorgeous black lace boudoir ensemble Kerry is wearing. I feel like non-knocked up Kerry wouldn’t wear that. But knocked up Kerry? Sure! The more black lace the better. Or maybe this is Kerry’s way of paying tribute to Prince. If Prince designed maternity clothes, I’m almost positive that’s what he’d make.

Kerry didn’t exactly do much with the technology theme, but there were a few people who tried. Let’s start with Demi Lovato.

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Awkward = Running Into One Of Your Exes At Your Friend’s 21st Birthday Party

April 29, 2016 / Posted by:

Although to be fair, when you have a lot of friends and a lot of ex-boyfriends, it’s probably bound to happen sooner or later. Last night was Gigi Hadid’s 21st birthday, and because Gigi is famous, it’s not exactly a surprise that her party was packed with famous people. The most important of which was Gigi’s squad leader, Taylor Swift. I say “important“, because unless you want to find your ass on the other side of a “Bad Blood“-style song, the first birthday party invitation you send out is to Taylor.

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