“More like she’s bringing shame upon her Modern Family cast mates.” – every hater of demure elegance and AVN Awards chic.
Ariel Winter recently said that if she wants to display her bare ass cheeks on Instagram, that’s what she’s going to do and she could give a shit if you don’t like it. I guess Ariel feels the exact same way about the way she dresses. If Ariel Winter wants to go to the premiere of a children’s movie while dressed like a Jenner going to the club, that’s what she’s going to do. If Ariel Winter wants to dress like a cocktail waitress at an off-off-strip casino in Las Vegas while her cast mates wear their Casual Friday best, that’s what she’s going to do.
The cast and co-creator of Modern Family did a Q&A for Television Academy members at the Wolf Theatre in North Hollywood, CA yesterday, and Ariel Winter looked like the Marilyn Munster if Marilyn Munster bought all her clothes from the sale section on FashionNova.com. But really, Ariel Winter is the only one dressed right. I mean, they’re all millionaire TV stars in Hollywood and millionaire TV stars in Hollywood don’t dress like suburban dads going to a neighborhood BBQ in their “sharpest” outfit from The Gap. They’re not supposed to dress like us normals.
So when the cast strolled into the Q&A yesterday, I’m sure the audience gasped, but they weren’t gasping at Ariel Winter since she’s the only one who looked like a STAH! They gasped at Julie Bowen for wearing Ann Taylor Factory. Not even Ann Taylor Ann Taylor, but Ann Taylor Factory. I just gasped again.
No wonder why Day 1 of Coachella headliners, Radiohead, kept abruptly leaving the stage. I’m sure it had nothing to do with sound glitches, as TMZ reported. It was probably because they clocked Ariel Winter’s “booth babe at the AVN Awards preshow” outfit and thought that it was the wrong kind of venue for them.
First, check out the dramatic Radiohead video with the bonus commentary included.
But back to Ariel. Can you remember when the standard Coachella lewk was “woodland flower hippie nymph on shrooms?” Ariel’s having none of that. It’s all about embodying the “feeling herself” member of the staff at a My Little Pony-themed car wash now. Ugh, doesn’t this event take place in a desert-like area? Imagine wearing that strip club Rapunzel mess on your head at a festival in the desert?
Here’s more pics of Ariel and her boyfriend, Levi Meaden, at Coachella in the gallery below.
“Keep your eyes up, Papa, keep your eyes up, you don’t need to get a Smurf boner in your leggings at the premiere of a children’s movie.” – Papa Smurf to himself in that picture, obviously.
The last Smurfs movie only came out in 2013, but Sony has already rebooted it with an all new voice cast. Smurfs: The Lost Village had its premiere in Culver City, CA yesterday and Ariel Winter, who does the voice of Smurf Lily, showed up in an ensemble that once again screamed: I am not the nerd chick I play on Modern Family! Ariel wore a stunning dress that looks like it was made with motel curtains from the 70s and pantyhose. That mess is something Kylie Jenner would design if she did a line for Fashion Nova.
Sure, Ariel wore that to the premiere of a children’s movie during the day and some may think that look is highly inappropriate for the occasion, but I say that it’s highly practical. Maybe Ariel was hitting up Florentine Gardens, or some other club, afterward and what’s really highly inappropriate is flashing drivers as you’re changing in the backseat of a car while driving to the club. Besides, Ariel knew she had to bring a touch of sophistication and glamour to the event since the Smurfs always wear the same boring and homely thing. I mean, if Papa Smurf insisted on wearing another pair of leggings, he could’ve glamour’d it up a bit by wearing leggings with cut-outs or rhinestones. Boring bitch!
Here’s more pictures from yesterday’s premiere including a couple of Joe ManJello holding a Smurfette stuffed doll. If you’re a plushie who’s really into Joe ManJello, those pictures must be a wet dream fantasy come-to-life for you.
Pics: AP, Wenn.com
Natalie Portman is currently knocked up with her second kid, so I can see why she’d want to show up to the Critics’ Choice Awards last night wearing your auntie’s two best tablecloths as a dress. When you’re shuffling down a red carpet for two, your number one priority is comfort. Your legs are tired, your arms are tired, your stomach looks like the overstuffed backpack of an airplane passenger that refuses to check a bag. Sometimes you just want to wear a cape-thing and call it a night.
Natalie took home the Critics’ Choice Award for Best Actress for her Jackie. I like to think Natalie kept with the throwback theme and her ensemble was an homage to 1960s maternity wear. Based on years of research (Joan and Betty’s pregnancies on Mad Men), I believe if you got knocked up in the 1960s you were legally required to dress like a deflated shower gel pouf.
It wasn’t all floaty-fabric capes. There were also floaty-fabric robes too.
Ariel Winter is 18 now, which means that she’s free to make almost all the grown people mistakes she wants. Since we are officially in The Holiday Zone and every lonely trick is working double time to make sure they aren’t solo at Christmas dinner, Ariel has come out publicly with her relationship to an ostensibly established star, 29-year-old Levi Meaden. Levi played Drew in The 100 and he’s currently in something called The Aftermath on SyFy. Sure. He’s giving me sporty Evan Peters and I’m not totally mad at it.
Every time I see new pictures of 18-year-old Ariel Winter from Modern Family, she’s bringing new meaning to the name “coochie cutters,” and she totally outdid herself over the weekend when she showed up to Just Jared’s pool party wearing shorts that are so damn short we can’t really call them shorts. They’re more like jean chonies and they should come with a warning that reads: Wearing these jean chonies may cause you to queef up denim lint for days.
Ariel wore that elegant Daytona Beach spring breaker bathing suit and jean chonies with strangely conservative Louboutin heels. So from the thighs up, she’s serving “the most overdressed finalist in the Miss Juggalette 2016 pageant” and from the ankles down she’s serving “serial beige shoe-wearer St. Angie Jolie going to a meeting at the United Nations.” I was going to say that Ariel Winter looks like she’s wearing everything found in a Kylie Jenner starter pack, but I can’t say that since she’s not wearing thigh-high cage sandals and a cornrows wig, and her lips aren’t the size of two obese caterpillars in sleeping bags.