Open Post: Hosted By Taco Bell’s Fight To Free The “Taco Tuesday” Trademark From The Clutches Of Taco John’s
If Americans love two things (I’m going to ignore guns for now lalala), the first would be eating bastardized ethnic foods, and the second would be cutesy alliteration! So it’s been troublesome for some taco peddlers and poor LeBron James that a relatively small taco chain, Taco John’s, has owned the trademark for the expression “Taco Tuesday” for the last 30 years and hasn’t been afraid to rip off cease and desists if someone else uses it. Enter taco and diarrhea mega-chain Taco Bell, which just launched a legal crusade to “liberate” the trademark by filing to have it yoinked out of Taco John’s hands and reverted to a generic term so the people can have it back to proclaim, monetize, and hashtag as they see fit.
Now we finally know the name of Meghan Markle’s podcast with Spotify and it’s called Archetypes, which makes plenty of sense, considering Meghan and Prince Harry are really into branding that’s borrowed from their son’s name, Archie. Their non-profit charity was named Archewell, their podcasting production company is called Archewell Audio, and now we’ve got Archetypes, the first episode dropping…TBA sometime this summer. We don’t have a concrete date for that first episode’s premiere, but we do know that Meghan has been busy making sure all her legal bases are covered before it happens.
The Pimp. The Mama. The Kris. In 2007, these three facets of Kris Jenner’s personality converged into an Unholy Trinity, culminating in one of the most iconic momager moments of all time. While Kim Kardashian posed ass-out for a Playboy photoshoot, Kris, armed with her own camera (pink, digital), uttered the line, “Kim, you’re doing amazing, sweetie.”
Since then, the Internet has memed the crap outta that ridiculous scene. This is why I’m surprised it took Kris thirteen long Kardashian-Jenner-filled years to cash in on that shit! Last week she finally clued in and filed docs to trademark the catchphrase. According to TMZ, Kris intends to slap it on products like makeup, clothing, home goods, books, magazines, and baby products. Oh god, will an entire generation of children learn to toilet train using “You’re doing amazing, sweetie” potties?!
New raptress, Megan Thee Stallion–who has also challenged us to shake our asses down at the station–came up with this “Hot Girl Summer” concept and it’s caught on like, well–a Hot Girl Summer! Since now even marketing execs are learning that the youth have been saying this and throwing it all over the place, she’s decided to trademark that shit and cash in.
Cardi B is making more money moves, and that means trademarking her signature phrase (or whatever you want to call it): “Okurrr!” You know, the phrase which makes adults go, “What is that noise? Who’s doing that?”. Cardi has made a lot of money from that catchphrase (see: her Pepsi commercial) and don’t think you’re going to make money off it, because she’s in the process of trademarking it, okurrr? (You can’t sue me, I’m just saying it!)
Aside from telling the occasional random stranger, Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin have been keeping quiet their marriage and there’s a bit of the stale air of mystery hanging over whether or not they actually shackled themselves together for life since they didn’t do it in the eyes of the Big Dog, God. Well, the couple has come one step closer to acknowledging their legal union, because Hailey has just trademarked the name “Hailey Bieber“. And just like that, a marriage is confirmed and a new hashtag is born.