Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Named Their New Non-Profit “Archewell” After Their Son

April 7, 2020 / Posted by:

Now that their Sussex Royal brand is kaput, newly christened commoners Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are doing a rebrand, which is the celebrity version of cutting your own bangs after a breakup. Yesterday the non-royals told The Telegraph that they’re launching a non-profit organization called “Archewell”.

The couple weren’t planning on announcing Archewell (does anyone else just think of Snackwell’s?) just yet, but The Telegraph tracked down their trademark applications (for shit like clothing and audiobooks), and they were forced to make a statement. Harry and Megan explained they want to use the organization to “do something of meaning, to do something that matters”. “Pffft”, replied the Queen. They also say the name was inspired by their son, Master Archie.

via E News:

“Before SussexRoyal, came the idea of ‘Arche’—the Greek word meaning ‘source of action’. We connected to this concept for the charitable organisation we hoped to build one day, and it became the inspiration for our son’s name,” Meghan and Harry explained to the publication.

“Archewell is a name that combines an ancient word for strength and action, and another that evokes the deep resources we each must draw upon.”

Welp, looks like Harry and Megan are only allowed one kid now. Either that, or their plan is to start new non-profit empires every time they pop out a baby. “Avawell!” “Fennelwell!” “Coriandrawell!” (the longer they live in LA, the Goopier the baby names will get).

Since The Telegraph scooped their planned reveal, Harry and Meghan clarified that this announcement isn’t the official Archewell launch. They’re postponing that until after the coronavirus crisis ends (if it ever ends). Makes sense. Why try to better the world during a global pandemic? Wait for the good times!

For now, Harry, Meghan, and Little Archie are social distancing at their new L.A. home with security that isn’t on the government payroll (thanks Daddy Charles!). I’m just praying that Meghan’s next move is getting her ass on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. That’s where she can really “do something of meaning!” AKA bring us thirsty hos the drama, shit-talk the Queen during her talking head confessionals, and drunk dance on table tops with Lisa Rinna! Please make it happen, Andy Cohen!


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