Justin Bieber And Hailey Baldwin Don’t Think They’re Married Until They’re Married In Front Of God

October 3, 2018 / Posted by:

It was yesterday we learned that Stephen Baldwin is signing out loud, “We’re in the mooooonay!“, after it was reported that Hailey Baldwin and Justin Bieber did get married after all and did it without a prenup. Well, Justin and Hailey fans (and if you exist, I’m judging you), sorry but hold that celebratory vape hit you took and press pause on the terrible SoundCloud rapper you’re trying to introduce to all your friends; they ain’t married yet. At least, not according to the one person who matters: GOD.

TMZ is reporting that while Justin and Hailey are married in the eyes of the law, they don’t think their marriage is official until they get married “under the eyes of God”. Sources say that they don’t consider themselves “officially” married until they have a church ceremony. The couple is planning to have a big church ceremony next year, either in upstate NY or Canada. So I guess Hailey and Justin missed that Sunday school lesson where they find out God sees everything? God saw you at court, girl. God knows you’re married. If not, Pastor Carl would’ve for sure said something about it at their meeting.

TMZ begs the question, if the couple don’t really feel like they’re married until they go down to a church, why did they bother going down to the courthouse? And to TMZ I reply: publicity! How much have we talked about these idiots? Even that Stratford Perth Museum Hailey and Justin went to is getting some free-ass publicity! Good for you Stratford Perth Museum! Make those meager ticket sales. These two got married for the same reason many fame whores in Hollywood get married: the boost in paparazzi follows and guaranteed exposure.

And when they do have that church ceremony, I’m sure the son of God tattoo that Justin has on his leg is going to come alive, really roll its eyes and say, “Spare us, bitch.”

Pic: Wenn.com.

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