Open Post: Hosted By Taco Bell’s Fight To Free The “Taco Tuesday” Trademark From The Clutches Of Taco John’s
If Americans love two things (I’m going to ignore guns for now lalala), the first would be eating bastardized ethnic foods, and the second would be cutesy alliteration! So it’s been troublesome for some taco peddlers and poor LeBron James that a relatively small taco chain, Taco John’s, has owned the trademark for the expression “Taco Tuesday” for the last 30 years and hasn’t been afraid to rip off cease and desists if someone else uses it. Enter taco and diarrhea mega-chain Taco Bell, which just launched a legal crusade to “liberate” the trademark by filing to have it yoinked out of Taco John’s hands and reverted to a generic term so the people can have it back to proclaim, monetize, and hashtag as they see fit.
The fast-food wars are the modern version of the Hundred Years’ War. But instead of various Germanic and French royal houses besieging one another and birthing new fiefdoms, we get Burger King sniping at Ronald McDonald and heart disease. The most recent assault comes from Pizza Hut on Taco Bell. Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizza is a cult hit with celebrities like Doja Cat and Dolly Parton among its devoted follower base. And as the arbiter of all things pizza (sorry Papa John), Pizza Hut has thrown some subtle shade at Taco Bell’s “pizza” by creating its own Tex-Mex dish: the Italian Taco. And people say America isn’t cultured!
Snoop Dogg recently learned that it doesn’t matter how rich and famous you are, there’s always going to be someone who doesn’t want to deliver food to your house. That’s right, Uber Eats allegedly flaked on Snoop Dogg and just straight-up didn’t deliver the food he ordered. Stars, they’re just like us! Except not really, because when Snoop Dogg complains that his food didn’t show up, he’s sharing that news with 67.4 million Instagram followers. Which then gets reported on by several media outlets. And inevitably turns into a whole thing where the official Grubhub Twitter account joins in and tweets: “We’re always down to drop it like it’s hot! Order through us next time.”
Gene Weingarten is a two-time Pulitzer Prize-winning Washington Post columnist. On Friday, the Post published 69-year-old Gene’s attempt at comedy, a piece entitled, “You Can’t Make Me Eat These Foods,” in which Gene writes about the kinds of food he simply won’t eat (“this is a matter of mature, informed discrimination, not childish biases”). These foods include balsamic vinegar, sweet pickles, anchovies, and Indian food. Like, all of Indian food. Gene writes that Indian food is “the only ethnic cuisine in the world insanely based on one spice” (curry) and he doesn’t get it “as a culinary principle.” Gene received a ton of blowback, including accusations of racism. And Indian-born Padma Lakshmi, food author and host of my beloved Top Chef, was one of them. She tweeted, “On behalf of 1.3 billion people, kindly f**k off.” The 1.3 billion people added, “Yep, what she said!”
The Makers Of Cream Of Wheat Are Reviewing Their Packaging Which Features A Black Chef With A Racist Past
Aunt Jemima and Lady Antebellum might be dead, but Rastus, the Cream of Wheat chef whose name is a vile slur taken from a minstrel character whose defining characteristics were stupidity and shiftlessness, lives on. Like he literally lives on every box of Cream of Wheat sold all over the world. However, according to CNN, current COW owner B&G Foods (it was a Kraft product until 2007) “has initiated a review of its packaging,” which I guess technically isn’t doing the absolute least, but it’s close.
Writer Yashar Ali Tried To Come For Alison Roman For Cultural Appropriation And Chrissy Teigen Got Hit In The Crossfire
I needn’t remind you that we are currently living in the inevitable hellscape that was kicked off the moment Christopher Columbus’ goofy little boot first touched down on North American soil. Many horrible yet predictable scenarios have come to pass since then, but if anyone had “Halloween themed race-based cookbook author wars waged on Twitter in the middle of a global pandemic” on their Great American Experiment bingo card, can I hit you up for some lotto numbers?