Category: #tooktotwitter
Chrissy Teigen Got Heat For Posting About Having Been Duped Into Buying A $13,000 Bottle Of Wine
Brace yourselves for the shock of the century, folks. Chrissy Teigen got shit on Twitter for posting something ridiculous. We’re at the point where we can start categorizing these events with alarming specificity. This time it’s another one of Chrissy’s I’m Still Relatable Even Though I’m Hella Rich, Right? Right? tweets. Here’s a quiz. How relatable was Chrissy’s tweet?
A: Relatable: I was going to order a bottle of wine then heard the price and laughed.
B: Slightly less relatable: I went to a restaurant and ordered a bottle of wine that turned out to be more expensive than I expected.
C: Not at all relatable: I got tricked into spending $13K on a bottle of wine by a waiter.
If you guessed C — Winner winner, chicken dinner (hopefully enjoyed with a nice bottle of cab priced under $30.)
Cardi B Refuses To Let Her Fans Bad-Mouth Her Estranged Husband Offset
Now, there’s standing by your man, and then there’s standing the fuck up and threatening to beat the shit out of any trick who’s got a bad word to say about your man. Unsurprisingly, Cardi B––who has been known to throw shoes from across the room at her enemies––is taking a page from the latter (hell, Cardi B practically invented the latter). Despite filing for divorce last month from her cheating husband, Migos rapper Offset, Cardi is reminding Twitter that she is the only one allowed to cuss him out.
Kanye West Claims He’s Going To Help Taylor Swift Get Her Masters Back
Lyricist, master wit and completely competent Presidential candidate Kanye West once said about his on-again, off-again arch-nemesis, Taylor Swift: “I made that bitch famous”. Well, looks like he’s going above and beyond once again for his “protégé,” because after getting out of Twitter jail, he kept on, kept on, on Twitter and vowed to work with “family friend” Scooter Braun to get Taylor her masters back after they were famously acquired by Braun and Scott Borchetta in their Big Machine Label Group purchase last summer. Why do I have a feeling that Scooter just hit the block button Kanye’s number?
Kanye West Says He Won’t Release New Music Until Sony And Universal Release Him From His Contract
For those keeping track, Donda: With Child is still undelivered when by this point, Kanye West should already be thinking about getting on a waiting list if he wants it to get into a good preschool. But I get it, Kanye’s been very, very, very busy. Not only is he running a [insert adjective of your choice] presidential campaign, according to a slew of recent tweets, he’s also Moses, Nat Turner, and “the 2nd richest black man in America” who is tirelessly working to free his people. His “people” being exclusive to any other rich Black man in America. So you’ll have to excuse him if his album won’t be out until Sony and Universal release him from his contract and Drake apologizes to him for, I don’t know, being richer than him I guess. Folks, as usual, it’s a mess.
Elon Musk Has Opinions On Gender Pronouns––And So Does Grimes
Anytime I ever see a Tesla speeding down the street, I think to myself, “they’re kinda nice cars, I should get one someday” (Tesla would totally accept my proposed payment plan of $50/month over 10,000 years, right?) But then, as quickly as I begin fantasizing about my custom Hello Kitty plush interiors, I’m reminded that Elon Musk is a cartoon supervillain come to life. And yesterday, Elon must have been bored and decided to fuck with people, because he shared his unprovoked thoughts on gender pronouns. And you can pretty much guess how it went.
Kanye West Shows Us That 2020 Can Get Worse By Announcing He’s Running For President
Just when you thought the weighted blanket covered in dogshit that is 2020 couldn’t get any heavier, in comes Kanye West, the living, breathing embodiment of humility and grace to announce that he is running for President––just a few months before voting is set to take place. Oh yes, this is totally not a ploy to get his best friend Donald Trump re-elected. But when are we going to all find out that we died on January 1st and this is hell?