Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Are Now Officially Moved Out Of Frogmore Cottage

June 29, 2023 / Posted by:

It seems like a lot of things have happened in the Prince Harry and Meghan Markle sphere of disappointment in the short time since March when King Charles evicted them from Frogmore Cottage and offered it to his alleged mega-skeeze brother, Prince Andrew (who doesn’t really want it). They parted ways with Spotify, haven’t impressed Netflix much, and didn’t really get the reaction it seemed they were aiming for after their NYC pap chase. And now, when they don’t have a weekend free from birthday parties for children who are too young to have a fundamental concept of calendars and want to visit Harry’s homeland, they’ll have to couch surf or get a hotel, because all of their stuff has been moved out of Frogmore Cottage, leaving them without access to any royal digs to stay in.

Harry and Meghan renovated Frogmore Cottage with $3 million of taxpayer money they had to pay back after THE QUEEN gifted the royal residence to them. They quit the royal life in 2020 and have lived in the U.S. since, but for a while, Frogmore remained their piss-marked territory for whenever they came back to the U.K. for a visit (or a court date). That all ended a few months ago after King Charles asked them to vacate upon Harry’s loose-lipped memoir hitting the shelves. According to The Daily Beast, the “Keeper of the Privy Purse” (which is definitely what I’m going to call my vag from now on) confirmed on Thursday that the Duke and Duch of Suss are finally out of the cottage, but he wouldn’t comment on money matters surrounding it or if Prince Andrew would now be moving in to ~not sweat~ all over it.

Sir Michael Stevens, the Keeper of the Privy Purse responsible for royal finances, announced at an annual Sovereign Grant meeting that Harry and Meghan’s tenure in the house was over. “We can confirm that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have vacated Frogmore Cottage,” he said, according to Sky News.

“We will not be going into any detail on those arrangements here,” Sir Michael added. “Safe to say that, as has previously been stated, the duke and duchess have paid for the expenditure incurred by the Sovereign Grant in relation to the renovation of Frogmore Cottage, thus leaving the Crown with a greatly enhanced asset.”

Sir Michael would not comment on previous reports that Prince Andrew could be given the cottage instead, saying only that any “future occupancy will be determined and communicated in next year’s report.”

I bet the last time Haz and Megs walked around Frogmore one last time, it probably went something like this:

Aw, remember when Willy yanked off your necklace and broke the dog’s bowl with your ass over there?

And when we sat  on the island for our Barack and Michelle cosplay pic

Hey wait, did you remember to grab your bellend cream out of the medicine cabinet? Shit, did we forget to turn our mics on?

The boom should’ve picked it up, we’re good.

And with that, I’m collecting all of my boxes and lingering in each room for a little longer before turning out the lights because today’s my moving-out day, too.

Over the years, Dlisted made my college and grad school procrastination more light-hearted, made miserable days of my first wrong career choice feel shorter, helped me (quietly) laugh through long sleepless nights with each of my babies, and made miserable days of my second wrong career choice feel shorter (choices never were my strong suit).

I will deeply miss the many brilliant writers here and all of the readers, and I hope that in my year-ish of being a Dlisted writer myself, I was able to provide at least one or two instances where you might’ve lifted the corners of your mouth and made that little “hmmph” exhale of slight amusement–though I realize that’s a tall order when the tolerance for comedy here was set by the living legend Michael K, who will remain the hottest (and kindest) slut of the millennium.

If you need to reach me, I’ll still be checking [email protected] for a bit. I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m done wistfully embracing my three-wolf moon t-shirt and conceding to the ideologies of Marguerite Perrin because the end of this marvelous era is some dark-sided stuff. 

Pic: Albert Nieboer/DPA/Cover Images

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