Back in early February, the news broke that judges Ken Jeong and Robin Thicke walked off The Masked Singer set after one of the contestants was revealed to be Rudy Giuliani. That Rudy Giuliani, of Four Seasons Total Landscaping and attempted-democracy-overthrowing fame! The 77-year-old was eliminated and unmasked after butchering the song Bad to the Bone by George Thorogood and the Destroyers. He’d been disguised as a Jack in the Box. If you’re familiar with the Borat 2 scene where Rudy puts his hand down his pants in the presence of actress Maria Bakalova, you’ll know how apt that costume choice is… “Pop goes the weasel!” Continue reading
Two “The Masked Singer” Judges Walked Off The Set After Rudy Giuliani Was Revealed To Be A Contestant
Inhale. Exhale. Maybe try counting to 10. You are fine, this is fine. Everything is fine. What you are experiencing is not a psychotic break. It is a post-traumatic stress response to seeing Rudy Giuliani again after we thought he had slithered away back to his underground lair to regain his strength after the taxing humiliations of the 2020 election left him drained of his precious bodily fluids. Which, considering what we saw leaking out of his hairline, is likely activated sludge composed of a mixture of microbes and suspended particles with some essential oils added to give it that special zip! But we were wrong. Rudy’s still topside and he’s been walking among us, masquerading as a human being masquerading as a patriotic banana split singing Frank Sinatra (or something) on the upcoming season of The Masked Singer.
Emily Ratajkowski And The Director Of The “Blurred Lines” Video Say That Robin Thicke Groped Her During Filming
Blurred Lines is a Satanic skid mark on the backside of America’s chonies, because it turned Robin Thicke into a star, is probably the most-played song on Brett Kavanaugh’s Spotify playlist, and it ripped off Marvin Gaye. And now Emily Ratajkowski, or Emily RideAJetSki as I call her around here, says that while filming the video for it, Robin sexually assaulted her by grabbing her boobs. The video’s director, Diane Martel, says that she watched it go down and immediately shut down filming. The most shocking part about all of this is that Blurred Lines was not directed by Terry Richardson!
Listen, if Chrissy Teigen can’t paint a 3-year-old’s nails, then Robin Thicke and his fiancé April Love Geary definitely cannot feed their one-year-old Cheetos. Like? That’s not even a comparison. But apparently that’s what the baby was fed–as April proudly posted about feeding the baby Cheetos on her Instagram. And you can guess how that went: I’m talking about it, aren’t I? So probably not completely well.
Two years ago, a judge declared that Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams ripped off Marvin Gaye when making their date rape anthem “Blurred Lines.” The case is now officially done. And those dudes, who knew they were wrong in the first place, now have to collectively pay Marvin Gaye’s estate five MILLION dollars. And I hope you read that last part in Dr. Evil’s voice because that’s what I heard when I typed it.
Just in time to make us all think twice this Friday before we grab a glass bottle of vodka to pregame a night at the bar, more details are coming out about Robin Thicke’s upcoming baby with girlfriend April Love Geary. Everyone was a little confused the other day when April announced just six months after giving birth that she was expecting again. I’m still not healed from the last time I did a leg workout six months ago (coincidentally, the last time I went to the gym). Well, we’re finding out the new Thicke baby wasn’t exactly planned – April was on birth control when she got knocked up.
Us Weekly is reporting that April announced on Instagram (she is a millennial, after all) Wednesday, “I started birth control and then one morning I woke up nauseous.” I guess they weren’t fucking around when they try to scare you in middle school by saying you can still get STDs and pregnant (honestly, some might argue pregnancy is an STD…ok, I’ll let myself out) even if you wear condoms and take birth control. The medical experts Us Weekly keeps on retainer Googled their way to the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals’ website and reminded us all that only 0.1% of women properly taking the pill still get pregnant.
People reports April also revealed some sad news during the Instagram Q&A. She suffered a miscarriage before giving birth to her and Robin’s first child, Mia. She says she wasn’t scared or stressed out and that “life happens.” Good attitude to have when a drunk stork later ignores that “Do Not Disturb” sign on your front door in the form of birth control and still delivers a baby.