Category: Prince Charles
A New Documentary Unearths Prince Charles’ Correspondence With Notorious Pedophile Jimmy Savile
Even with all the plundered riches of the word at their disposal, The Royal Family can’t seem to buy an inch of good press. Mostly, it seems, because they are so out of touch with the modern world, that the last time they tried to buy some good publicity, they spent their plundered riches on a state visit to the lands from which those very riches had been plundered. THE QUEEN’S big Platinum Jubilee is going to require some extra spit polish and elbow grease if it has any chance of outshining the scandals of the past few years. And the hits just keep coming. According to People, a new documentary about Britain’s most notorious pedophile, long-time BBC presenter and current sack of bones Jimmy Savile, has uncovered years of correspondence between him and Prince Charles. I know you probably thought I was gonna say the other one, but Prince Andrew is obviously too dumb to ask for help. But apparently, Charles frequently asked Jimmy for advice on crisis management and ways to modernize The Firm. He also asked Jimmy if he could talk some sense into one of his most embarrassing family members, Sarah Ferguson. *Spoiler Alert* It didn’t work.
Prince William Called Slavery “Abhorrent” But His Remarks Didn’t Go Over Too Well With Protestors In Jamaica
On their final full day in Jamaica before heading to the Bahamas to continue their royal tour, aka the Gran, Can We Please Come Home This is Embarrassing Tour, Prince William and Duchess Kate attended a dinner hosted by the Governor General which was held at, where else, King’s House in Kingston. And as a future king, William had to give a speech in which he awkwardly addressed the elephant in the room by repeating what his father Prince Charles said about slavery the previous year in Barbados after they removed THE QUEEN as head of state. In his remarks, Will called slavery “abhorrent” and said “it should never have happened,” before sheepishly adding “he’s standing right behind me, isn’t he?” referring to the elephant that’s been following them around since their helicopter tried to land on it in Belize.
Prince William And Duchess Kate’s Royal Tour Of The Caribbean Is Being Met With Protests
Even after the British Commonwealth nation of Barbados decided that Rihanna is the only queen they will be fucking with from here on out last November, The Firm’s inability to read the room continues to be appalling. According to People, Prince William and Duchess Kate have been trotted out on a royal tour of the Caribbean with stops in Belize, Jamaica, and the Bahamas as part of THE QUEEN’s Platinum Jubilee to smile and wave and reinforce stereotypes about white people not being able to dance. Only instead of being met by a sea of adoring royal loyals in Belize, William and Kate were greeted by protesters who didn’t want colonizers landing their helicopter on their football field. And according to The Express, there’s another protest planned ahead of their next scheduled stop in Jamaica where, in an open letter addressed to them, “a group of politicians, business leaders and doctors have called for the British monarchy to pay slavery reparations.” Needless to say, Will’s going to have to pull out some big moves if there’s any chance of salvaging this mess. He’s going to have to drop and do the worm.
A New Biography Claims THE QUEEN Struggled With Three Of Her Four Kids Getting Divorced
This week People published some excerpts from an upcoming biography about THE QUEEN, entitled Queen of Our Times: The Life of Queen Elizabeth II. In the released passages, author and royal expert Robert Hardman writes that, while the Queen may have been her usual stiff-lipped, stoic self when three of her kids (Princess Anne, Prince Charles, and Prince Andrew) all got divorces in the ’90s, it actually “distressed her much more than she let on.” I mean, I get it. Your son allegedly abused an underage sex trafficking victim? Ehhh, shit happens. But to permanently stain the royal family with a DIVORCE? That crosses the line. Continue reading
Queen Elizabeth Skipped The Annual Commonwealth Day Service
Queen Elizabeth is the world’s oldest, most powerful living monarch, but she’s also a working royal, which means if there’s something to show up to, The Queen shows up to it. If I were the world’s oldest, most powerful monarch, I’d bail out on just about anything that doesn’t involve trays with little puff pastry snacks or a fancy carriage ride. But I clearly don’t have Liz’s work ethic. Recently, though, 95-year-old Queen Elizabeth has skipped events for valid reasons like health issues and a February COVID-19 diagnosis. The Queen recovered from COVID, but it looks like she just wasn’t feeling up to appearing at a Commonwealth Day service today because she skipped that.
Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Are Skipping Prince Philip’s Memorial Due To Security Reasons
If memorial coverage that led to the highest number of complaints the BBC had ever seen and a funeral fit for a king wasn’t enough, a new memorial service at Westminster Abbey has been scheduled for the late Prince Philip. That’s one of the perks of being a senior royal: people will constantly be reminded of your existence well after you pass! Another perk is that you get 24-hour security. Which, as we’ve learned, is no longer the case for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. If they can’t get some beefy dudes to cover them while they visit the UK, it looks like the former royal couple will miss out on Prince Philip’s memorial!