A Photographer Claims To Have An “Embarrassing” Picture Of Prince Andrew From His “BBC Newsnight” That Would “Rock The Monarchy” If It Came Out
We’ve all seen enough shocking and embarrassing photos of Prince Andrew to last several lifetimes. I mean his chimpanzee with a coffee addiction teeth-situation alone is shocking and embarrassing enough to warrant an investigation. However, according to The Daily Mail, a photographer who worked on Andrew’s soon-to-be dramatized BBC Newsnight interview, is in possession of a photo of Andrew from that shoot that is “SO shocking,” and “SO embarrassing” that it would “rock the monarchy” if it were ever to be made public. So naturally he “hinted that it may feature” in the upcoming film. No wonder Hugh Grant has denied he’s in talks to play Andrew. Playing a disgraced Royal caught up in a sex scandal involving young girls is one thing, but he’s not about to risk his career and reputation reenacting a scene in which Andrew is covertly photographed reaching into his pants (presumably), pulling out a cheesy dick-booger and smelling it before popping it in his mouth. Talk about a career/boner killer.
Last week, Elon Musk decided that he didn’t actually want to buy Twitter for $44 billion and released a statement informing everyone that Twitter had misled him, and therefore he was backing out of the deal. That’s not good, considering Elon and Twitter signed a contract with Elon agreeing his intention to follow through with the purchase, and Twitter let it be known several times that they’d happily summon their team of lawyers on Elon, should he metaphorically skip town. So no one should be surprised that Twitter is lawyering up. But according to Elon’s recent Twitter activity, he’s not bothered in the least. In fact, he’s casually making ha-ha-has and tee-hee-hees about the whole mess.
Whatever happened to cool billionaires? I know Bruce Wayne didn’t watch his parents get murdered 5 or 6 times just to have Elon Musk out here making an absolute mockery of unchecked wealth and power. A billionaire simply does not walk on stage surrounded by laser beams wearing a cowboy hat and belt buckle unless he is an oil magnate over the age of 60 with an expressive mustache and the steely gaze of a man who has had somebody murdered with a drone. Yet, according to UPROXX, at an event called Cyber Rodeo, held at the Tesla Gigafactory in Austin last night, Elon did just that, having possibly only met one of those conditions. I’m sorry, did I say walked on stage? Elon drove a Tesla on stage, got out, and self-consciously touched his butt as if the excitement of the cheering crowd scared out a little fart he didn’t quite trust. For the love of Rihanna, is this what it’s come to? Dick-shaped rockets and Dogecoin drone shows? Why, in my day, billionaires wore tuxedos and spats to shit on the poors. Now they’re shitting themselves while committing economic genocide! And don’t get me started on the whole dandruff situation…
Prince William Called Slavery “Abhorrent” But His Remarks Didn’t Go Over Too Well With Protestors In Jamaica
On their final full day in Jamaica before heading to the Bahamas to continue their royal tour, aka the Gran, Can We Please Come Home This is Embarrassing Tour, Prince William and Duchess Kate attended a dinner hosted by the Governor General which was held at, where else, King’s House in Kingston. And as a future king, William had to give a speech in which he awkwardly addressed the elephant in the room by repeating what his father Prince Charles said about slavery the previous year in Barbados after they removed THE QUEEN as head of state. In his remarks, Will called slavery “abhorrent” and said “it should never have happened,” before sheepishly adding “he’s standing right behind me, isn’t he?” referring to the elephant that’s been following them around since their helicopter tried to land on it in Belize.