Category: Prince Andrew
A New Documentary Unearths Prince Charles’ Correspondence With Notorious Pedophile Jimmy Savile
Even with all the plundered riches of the word at their disposal, The Royal Family can’t seem to buy an inch of good press. Mostly, it seems, because they are so out of touch with the modern world, that the last time they tried to buy some good publicity, they spent their plundered riches on a state visit to the lands from which those very riches had been plundered. THE QUEEN’S big Platinum Jubilee is going to require some extra spit polish and elbow grease if it has any chance of outshining the scandals of the past few years. And the hits just keep coming. According to People, a new documentary about Britain’s most notorious pedophile, long-time BBC presenter and current sack of bones Jimmy Savile, has uncovered years of correspondence between him and Prince Charles. I know you probably thought I was gonna say the other one, but Prince Andrew is obviously too dumb to ask for help. But apparently, Charles frequently asked Jimmy for advice on crisis management and ways to modernize The Firm. He also asked Jimmy if he could talk some sense into one of his most embarrassing family members, Sarah Ferguson. *Spoiler Alert* It didn’t work.
Princess Beatrice And Princess Eugenie Have Been Named In A Fraud Case Tied To Their Father Prince Andrew
Oh, those British royals – so relatable! I mean, who of us hasn’t found ourselves at one time or another caught up in our disgraced father’s alleged million-dollar fraud scheme involving a Turkish millionaire and our mom, Duchess Fergie? Wait, I only see Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie raising their hands. Huh, I guess that’s not exactly a common example of family bonding time. But it’s currently a thing that Bea and Genie get to talk about with their dad. Luckily, their dad already has a comprehensive relationship with his lawyers, so hopefully the Princesses can get this sorted out before their parents’ next money scandal.
THE QUEEN Insisted Prince Andrew Escort Her To Prince Philip’s Memorial Service
This morning THE QUEEN attended Prince Philip’s memorial service at Westminster Abbey. Because of the Queen’s recent health issues, there’d been some debate as to whether she’d make it. A royal source previously told People that she hoped to attend, but a decision would be made on the day. Well, I guess today the Queen woke up and said, “Fuck it, let’s go.” And then she opted for an extra layer of “FUCK IT” when she “insisted” on being escorted by Prince Andrew. Continue reading
A New Biography Claims THE QUEEN Struggled With Three Of Her Four Kids Getting Divorced
This week People published some excerpts from an upcoming biography about THE QUEEN, entitled Queen of Our Times: The Life of Queen Elizabeth II. In the released passages, author and royal expert Robert Hardman writes that, while the Queen may have been her usual stiff-lipped, stoic self when three of her kids (Princess Anne, Prince Charles, and Prince Andrew) all got divorces in the ’90s, it actually “distressed her much more than she let on.” I mean, I get it. Your son allegedly abused an underage sex trafficking victim? Ehhh, shit happens. But to permanently stain the royal family with a DIVORCE? That crosses the line. Continue reading
Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Are Skipping Prince Philip’s Memorial Due To Security Reasons
If memorial coverage that led to the highest number of complaints the BBC had ever seen and a funeral fit for a king wasn’t enough, a new memorial service at Westminster Abbey has been scheduled for the late Prince Philip. That’s one of the perks of being a senior royal: people will constantly be reminded of your existence well after you pass! Another perk is that you get 24-hour security. Which, as we’ve learned, is no longer the case for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. If they can’t get some beefy dudes to cover them while they visit the UK, it looks like the former royal couple will miss out on Prince Philip’s memorial!
Prince Charles Reportedly Loaned Prince Andrew Most Of The Money For His Lawsuit Settlement
So apparently the phrase “Heyyyyyyy…can I borrow $20?” transcends all tax brackets. Because it looks like when Prince Andrew needed to cut a check to Virginia Giuffre, he might have called up his older brother Prince Charles and begged for some financial help. But instead of $20, Andrew needed a loan for several million dollars.