Brian Cox Comes For Johnny Depp, Quentin Tarantino, David Bowie And More In His New Autobiography

You’re never going to have to do much to sell me on a book of cocks, so selling that shit to me by spelling it “Cox” and adding an apostrophe “s,” is really just gilding the lily. Especially considering that the Cox book in question is a burn all-the-bridges Hollywood memoir written by a 75-year-old actor on a hit TV show with nothing to lose. In a new autobiography called Putting the Rabbit in the Hat, Succession star Brian Cox goes ahead and lets us know he thinks Johnny Depp is overrated, praises David Bowie’s beautiful gowns and made me look up the word “meretricious” with his description of Quentin Tarantino’s work even though he says he’d still pick up the phone if the caller ID showed a zoomed-in picture of a big toe. It’s a page right out of the Quincy Jones pee-paw tells all playbook, and I am sold!

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Michael Caine Says That Beyonce Spilled Her Oscar Dreams To Him

Considering Beyoncé would sooner wear hand-me-downs from Kim Kardashian before permitting anything unflattering about her released into the public domain, someone should probably drop by and check on Michael Caine lest the Beyhive seek revenge for his chatty self. Michael and Bey were both in Austin Powers In Goldmember, surprisingly NOT the movie Michael was most ashamed of when asked recently to reflect on his career. While looking back, Michael talked about Bey, and he said she blabbed she was hungry for an Oscar.

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Emma Thompson Isn’t Here For Actors Who Get Work Just Because They’re Popular On Twitter

Thanks to Calvin Klein, I know that models nowadays book jobs based on how many people follow them on Instagram. Although I wasn’t aware that there was a hiring practice in Hollywood where your chances of getting cast in a movie were higher if you included your social media stats on the back of your headshot. But apparently that’s a thing, and Emma Thompson isn’t happy about it.

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Behold, The Best Bod In NYC For Decades Running

In the voice of Stefon: New York’s hottest bod is Vin Diesel!

When pictures of Vin Diesel’s topless body on a balcony made the rounds and he got the “dad bod” label, he spit back by Instagramming the above picture of him sucking in so hard that he probably broke a few ribs. I thought that was that, but then Complex brought it up during an interview and Vin dismissed the hating asshole body shamers who made fun of his “dad bod,” because he knows that if there were a Best Bod Olympics, he’d win every gold medal and then some. So the haters can chew on his outie.

Like you step out, and it’s like, “Diesel is not wearing a shirt!“
It’s like, dad bod goes viral. Like really?

I am very here for the dad bod, just FYI.
I get it, you know? I mean, a) I don’t have to be in front of the camera for a couple months and b) I really am a dad.

So, literally dad bod.
I have lots of kids, but you know, how do I feel about the invasion? That sneaky invasion of privacy feels weird. That’s not right. How do I feel about people being so focused on that? I’m okay because I’ve had the best body in New York City for decades. There is no love lost there for me. I sing on my Facebook. You don’t get more dangerous than that, right?

Vin could be spitting out jokes, but if he wasn’t joking, then I’m going to guess that those pictures of him on the balcony were taken just as his inflated ego inflated some more. And I don’t know if I’d say that Vin Diesel has had the best body in NYC for DECADES, but I will say that he’s definitely in the running for the best posing skills in NYC.

Pin-Up Vinnie should’ve done that hot sexy pose in his Instagram message to the haters, because that really would’ve shut them up. They would’ve been too busy trying to put the fire out in their loins to say shit. Speaking of fiery loins, here’s Vin doing an impersonation of a naked Prince Hot Ginge at the London premiere of The Last Witch Hunter the other night.

Pics: Instagram, Wenn.com, Towleroad