Quincy Jones Is Sorry For Giving Us A Reason To Read Again

February 22, 2018 / Posted by:

The future of print media looked bright a couple of weeks ago. Sure, circulation is down, but a solution had emerged: every magazine and newspaper article forward needed to involve Quincy Jones. Pawpaw Quincy may be 84, but with old age comes fewer and fewer fucks to give. He said he dated Ivanka Trump, made Marlon Brando leap up the gay charts after saying he fucked Richard Pryor and likely set the record for how many times “motherfucker” appeared in a single sitting. Sadly, it sounds like Quincy wants to take it all back.

Quincy tweeted out a missive earlier today that just tells me his daughters are a bunch of sticks in the mud. The tweet explains he quit boozing a few years ago, and that’s why his memory isn’t what it once was.

It’s hard to imagine Rashida Jones doing anything but cackling about her father calling The Beatles about as talented as a suburban teenage garage band, so I bet it was Kidada Jones – not from getting called out for her time with Tupac but because she’s a secret Swiftie and Papa Q was a big bad meanie to Taylor Swift when she said she was the tambourine player in that suburban teenage garage band (paraphrasing, of course).

Now, let’s get to the meat of this Twitter confession – he says his mind was fuzzy, but he didn’t say he was incorrect. He said Ray Charles shot heroin into his ball sack. Maybe it was his dick! 22 girlfriends around the world? Maybe it was an even 30! Admittedly, he already walked that one back in a tweet:

Either way, the Jones gals need to get off their high horses and recognize jobs are at stake here! Without Quincy dragging the ghosts of the Rat Pack out of the closet in future interviews (because that’s clearly what’s next!), countless reporters will be out of a job (like me!), so keep holding the hooch away from him because the fuzzy memories are far better than Donald Trump’s gun town all crib sheet.

Pic: Wenn.com

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